While I was on vacation, I read Elizabeth Edwards recent book, Resilience: Reflections on the Burdens and Gifts of Facing Life’s Adversities. I was looking forward to the read because I've admired Ms. Edwards for the strong and graceful way she's handled herself while campaigning for her spouse, fighting terminal cancer and dealing with the adultery of spouse John Edwards.
When I finished, I posted a review in my examiner.com column; it wasn't favorable because I felt snookered by title. If it was Reflections, or My Life, I could have warmly accepted this book's content. But Resilience? I didn't feel the title matched the content.
When I got back to work this week, I started reading the comments. Many are the kind of things some women say that encourage other women to keep surviving, settling, limiting their own power. I don't see any victory in accepting the status quo, keeping the peace, putting on a happy face, not wanting to rock the boat, making do, or making sure everyone else is happy and satisfied, all while you are dying inside. That isn't resilience, at best, it's simple survival.
One reader commented that I'm naive. She said there are different "clubs" that we don't choose (illness, betrayal, loss of a child), and implied that I don't understand. Yes, I do. I understand all too well. My understanding colors my viewpoint. Though I'm not a "member" of one of the above mentioned clubs, my earlier life was riddled with family dysfunction, much of which continues to this day...without me being in it. Once I realized that I didn't have to live like that, and could make better choices, I did. I was determined that craziness would not rule my life; I would make a better life for myself. I have. When I knew better, I did better.
Over the past seven years, I've interviewed hundreds of women who have done the same. Most of them did not have Elizabeth Edwards upbringing, education or financial resources. They demonstrated their resilience through illness, betrayal, abuse, etc. The result was victory.
Still, I'm glad I read the book and see Ms. Edwards in a new light. And, in agreement with the general tone of the comments, I say, "God Bless You, Elizabeth!"
You can read the review and comments at http://tinyurl.com/ResilienceBookReview
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Monday, July 13, 2009
Could You Do This? Would You?
Carla and Caroline’s Excellent Adventure.
How cool is this? Carla Wilson, Executive VA, is walking across England – from coast to coast – with her childhood girlfriend, Caroline. This is a long walk…and considered one of the top ten hikes in the world: “190 miles of sheer hiking pleasure, from the Irish Sea to the North Sea, taking in three national parks: the Lake District, where England's highest mountains are found; the long green valleys of the Yorkshire Dales (of James Herriot fame); and the sometimes bleak but often dramatic landscapes of the North Yorkshire Moors.”
Carla and Caroline started planning – and training - for this trip nearly a year ago. They have had obstacles galore, including travel problems with the online service with which they booked their flight. But, in spite of them, Carla and Caroline left on Friday and started hiking on Sunday. They’ll be gone for nearly three weeks.
When I interviewed Carla just before she left, she was beside herself with excitement. She told me that, in addition to savoring the awesomeness of what she was doing, she was glad to have the girlfriend time with Caroline. On top of that, she was looking forward being alone with her thoughts and letting her mind relax into daydreaming some new goals.
When I asked Carla how her family felt about her being gone so long, she laughed. She said that her spouse was already missing her but her teenage son seemed glad to have his doting mom away for a while. But then her voice got more serious as she explained that her mother-in-law is very ill, and has been for a long time. Part of Carla's planning included a long conversation with her spouse about what to do if she should pass away while Carla’s gone. In the end, they agreed that she won’t shortcut her trip. Pretty courageous move, for both of them.
In the same serious vein, Carla told me that her trip coincides with the one-year anniversary of her cousin’s death from melanoma. To keep her motivated, Carla said, “I felt I needed to walk with a higher purpose.” So the women set up a website seeking donations for melanoma research so they “can help kick cancer’s butt!” They already reached 50% of their goal of $1900. Their donation page is http://tinyurl.com/carla-and-caroline
In addition, each day Carla is walking with the name of someone they know who has cancer. On one day of their trip, they’ll be walking for Theresa Hummel, who’s been battling cancer most of this year. She's the awesome mother of my colleague and friend Theresa Hummel Krallinger.
What about you? Victory is about life leadership. It's about making that stretch out of your comfort zone and step into your greater and more powerful self - the person you were born to be. So...
If you need some help, join me in the fall for one of several teleseminars I'm offering that will help you get started. The fall seminar schedule comes out August 1. Get yours delivered to you by email in the Victorious Woman e-newsletter: http://www.victoriouswoman.com.
In victory,
Annmarie
How cool is this? Carla Wilson, Executive VA, is walking across England – from coast to coast – with her childhood girlfriend, Caroline. This is a long walk…and considered one of the top ten hikes in the world: “190 miles of sheer hiking pleasure, from the Irish Sea to the North Sea, taking in three national parks: the Lake District, where England's highest mountains are found; the long green valleys of the Yorkshire Dales (of James Herriot fame); and the sometimes bleak but often dramatic landscapes of the North Yorkshire Moors.”
Carla and Caroline started planning – and training - for this trip nearly a year ago. They have had obstacles galore, including travel problems with the online service with which they booked their flight. But, in spite of them, Carla and Caroline left on Friday and started hiking on Sunday. They’ll be gone for nearly three weeks.
When I interviewed Carla just before she left, she was beside herself with excitement. She told me that, in addition to savoring the awesomeness of what she was doing, she was glad to have the girlfriend time with Caroline. On top of that, she was looking forward being alone with her thoughts and letting her mind relax into daydreaming some new goals.
When I asked Carla how her family felt about her being gone so long, she laughed. She said that her spouse was already missing her but her teenage son seemed glad to have his doting mom away for a while. But then her voice got more serious as she explained that her mother-in-law is very ill, and has been for a long time. Part of Carla's planning included a long conversation with her spouse about what to do if she should pass away while Carla’s gone. In the end, they agreed that she won’t shortcut her trip. Pretty courageous move, for both of them.
In the same serious vein, Carla told me that her trip coincides with the one-year anniversary of her cousin’s death from melanoma. To keep her motivated, Carla said, “I felt I needed to walk with a higher purpose.” So the women set up a website seeking donations for melanoma research so they “can help kick cancer’s butt!” They already reached 50% of their goal of $1900. Their donation page is http://tinyurl.com/carla-and-caroline
In addition, each day Carla is walking with the name of someone they know who has cancer. On one day of their trip, they’ll be walking for Theresa Hummel, who’s been battling cancer most of this year. She's the awesome mother of my colleague and friend Theresa Hummel Krallinger.
What about you? Victory is about life leadership. It's about making that stretch out of your comfort zone and step into your greater and more powerful self - the person you were born to be. So...
- Do you have an adventure that you dream about?
- Have you been putting it off because you don’t have the money, or the time, or you don’t think you can leave your family, or you’re afraid something “big” will happen while you are away?
- What if you stopped procrastinating and started moving forward…what would you do and how would you do it?
If you need some help, join me in the fall for one of several teleseminars I'm offering that will help you get started. The fall seminar schedule comes out August 1. Get yours delivered to you by email in the Victorious Woman e-newsletter: http://www.victoriouswoman.com.
In victory,
Annmarie
Monday, June 29, 2009
Jenny Sanford Takes The Lead!
Women everywhere are applauding Jenny Sanford! After years of feeling embarrassed when seeing the public humiliation of “stand by your man” political spouses, women were generally thrilled to see a better model.
Unlike Mrs. Clinton, Mrs. McGreevy, and Mrs. Spitzer before her, to name just a few, Jenny Sanford let the man who dishonored her stand alone while he told his constituents that he was a liar and a cheat. A few days later, as though reporters thought it mattered to her, they asked Ms. Sanford about the governor’s political future. With absolute certainty, she told them it wasn’t her concern. She didn’t care. And, after all, if he was so careless with his career, why should she do anything to help him save it?
Doesn't it make you wonder with so much at stake, why men cheat?
I asked a lot of men that question. said some just shrugged and said they didn’t know. Some just shrugged, others said the men were stupid. But many men echoed the sentiments of one bottom-line guy who admitted, ‘men do it because they can.’ In a society that embraces a sliding moral scale and celebrates instant gratification, cheaters find an abundance of excuses to defend their bad behavior. These days, even ‘it just happened’ has become a justification for adultery (for both men and women).”
Don't you think that's one of the most annoyingly dishonest tales anyone can ever tell? And who believes it anyway? Nobody! C'mon, we all know there’s a lot time between loving one’s spouse in a committed relationship, then meeting another person, exchanging a few emails and escalating the casual conversation into an affair. The logistics alone demand some kind of thought process. Cheating doesn’t ‘just happen’ any place but in erotic books.
Here are four things a spouse who's been cheated on can do to take back control of their lives:
1 - Let the dog clean up his own mess. Sure, maybe you still love him. But remember, all the while you were loving him and taking care of his home and family, he was getting his kicks with someone else.
2 - Get angry! Dig down to your deepest places and let the emotion out. Scream it out, journal it out, break things, whatever you need to do to vent that emotion. Those feelings of ‘how dare he?” and “how could he do that to me?” are really strong, especially if you feel you’ve accommodated him in every way you could.
3 – Think of yourself. You didn’t make this happen, so don’t blame yourself. Also, you are likely to suffer some serious depression, which can result in self-destructive and even life-threatening reactions. Why should that happen to you for some behavior you didn’t initiate? Think about what you need to do for yourself and…
4 - Seek qualified help. Once you start letting go of some of your initial anger, you need to sort out your feelings. If you have children, they need to do the same. Find a qualified therapist and make weekly appointments – more often if they help. The sooner you start making some sense of your feelings, the sooner you will heal. There’s no reason to let this awful thing result in a health issue that destroys your life.
No one wants to have their marriage turn out like this, but it happens. I think harsher attitudes toward cheating could make it happen less. I think Jenny Sanford is showing the way.
What do you think?
Also, what other suggestions to you have for spouses who've been cheated on??
Unlike Mrs. Clinton, Mrs. McGreevy, and Mrs. Spitzer before her, to name just a few, Jenny Sanford let the man who dishonored her stand alone while he told his constituents that he was a liar and a cheat. A few days later, as though reporters thought it mattered to her, they asked Ms. Sanford about the governor’s political future. With absolute certainty, she told them it wasn’t her concern. She didn’t care. And, after all, if he was so careless with his career, why should she do anything to help him save it?
Doesn't it make you wonder with so much at stake, why men cheat?
I asked a lot of men that question. said some just shrugged and said they didn’t know. Some just shrugged, others said the men were stupid. But many men echoed the sentiments of one bottom-line guy who admitted, ‘men do it because they can.’ In a society that embraces a sliding moral scale and celebrates instant gratification, cheaters find an abundance of excuses to defend their bad behavior. These days, even ‘it just happened’ has become a justification for adultery (for both men and women).”
Don't you think that's one of the most annoyingly dishonest tales anyone can ever tell? And who believes it anyway? Nobody! C'mon, we all know there’s a lot time between loving one’s spouse in a committed relationship, then meeting another person, exchanging a few emails and escalating the casual conversation into an affair. The logistics alone demand some kind of thought process. Cheating doesn’t ‘just happen’ any place but in erotic books.
Here are four things a spouse who's been cheated on can do to take back control of their lives:
1 - Let the dog clean up his own mess. Sure, maybe you still love him. But remember, all the while you were loving him and taking care of his home and family, he was getting his kicks with someone else.
2 - Get angry! Dig down to your deepest places and let the emotion out. Scream it out, journal it out, break things, whatever you need to do to vent that emotion. Those feelings of ‘how dare he?” and “how could he do that to me?” are really strong, especially if you feel you’ve accommodated him in every way you could.
3 – Think of yourself. You didn’t make this happen, so don’t blame yourself. Also, you are likely to suffer some serious depression, which can result in self-destructive and even life-threatening reactions. Why should that happen to you for some behavior you didn’t initiate? Think about what you need to do for yourself and…
4 - Seek qualified help. Once you start letting go of some of your initial anger, you need to sort out your feelings. If you have children, they need to do the same. Find a qualified therapist and make weekly appointments – more often if they help. The sooner you start making some sense of your feelings, the sooner you will heal. There’s no reason to let this awful thing result in a health issue that destroys your life.
No one wants to have their marriage turn out like this, but it happens. I think harsher attitudes toward cheating could make it happen less. I think Jenny Sanford is showing the way.
What do you think?
Also, what other suggestions to you have for spouses who've been cheated on??
Monday, June 15, 2009
Victorious Woman Contest Winners!
Our five judges are finished and made their picks. The returning judges told me that the essays this year were, overall, even better than 2008. Thank you to all of you who sent contest entries!!
The winners of the 2009 Victorious Woman Essay Contest are:
1st Prize:Amy Sherman
Overcoming Adversity: We're All Winners
2nd Prize: Amalia Starr
Second Chances
3rd Prize: Donna Johnson
Dancing in the Rain
CONGRATULATIONS TO EACH OF YOU!!
The winning essays will be posted online over the next few months. In fact, right now you can read about Amy Sherman’s health challenge, how she dealt with it and what she's doing now at: http://www.victoriouswoman.com/vwmonth.htm
The 2010 Victorious Woman Essay Contest will open up in March of next year. To get on the early-notification list and also receive other Victorious Woman updates and news, sign up for the Victorious Voices newsletter at: http://www.victoriouswoman.com
Make this month a victorious one!
Annmarie
The winners of the 2009 Victorious Woman Essay Contest are:
1st Prize:Amy Sherman
Overcoming Adversity: We're All Winners
2nd Prize: Amalia Starr
Second Chances
3rd Prize: Donna Johnson
Dancing in the Rain
CONGRATULATIONS TO EACH OF YOU!!
The winning essays will be posted online over the next few months. In fact, right now you can read about Amy Sherman’s health challenge, how she dealt with it and what she's doing now at: http://www.victoriouswoman.com/vwmonth.htm
The 2010 Victorious Woman Essay Contest will open up in March of next year. To get on the early-notification list and also receive other Victorious Woman updates and news, sign up for the Victorious Voices newsletter at: http://www.victoriouswoman.com
Make this month a victorious one!
Annmarie
Friday, May 8, 2009
The Teal Tea
Last Sunday I drove to
Brief background: Jean beat ovarian cancer TWICE! She’s now past the five year marker (the 2nd one). Jean, like our other Victorious Woman Honorees, is using her challenge of a lifetime and subsequent victory to educate, encourage and inspire other women who are battling cancer. She’s doing that through the Teal Tea Foundation. Its mission is to raise awareness about ovarian cancer and its detection and support research for the cure. time). You can read Jean’s story at http://www.victoriouswoman.com/vwmonth.htm.
The Teal Tea: If you are like me, your heart would have been uplifted when you entered the hotel ballroom and saw the specially - and spectacularly - decorated tables, each one different. The room was filled with the 300+ guests, mostly women. The air was charged with their energy and enthusiasm; it reverberated throughout the room.
When I arrived at the Teal Tea, its publicist Mary Jane Crawford was my guide. I sat between Lois, a cancer survivor, and Vanessa, whose mother and grandmother died from cancer. Thank you each for making me feel welcome!!
After the award presentation, Jean introduced me to
During the whole event, Jean Shipos worked tirelessly. Her passion for making the event both fun and purposeful was evident. She barely sat down; between coordinating events with the leader of the wonderful jazz band, overseeing the competitions for “Best Table” or “Best Hat” or watching out for Mr. & Mrs. Teal Tea, Jean was busy from beginning to end.
Of course, and Jean would be the first to tell you, she didn't do it alone. She had so many volunteers that it seemed as though all the attendees doubled as volunteers. That’s because everyone knew they were there because (1) they want to find a better detection tool for finding ovarian cancer and (2) they want to find a cure so that no one else, or no one's loved one, has to hear that devastating diagnosis.
It won’t be long before Jean Shipos starts getting ready for the 2010 Teal Tea. If you would like to donate to her cause – money, sponsorship, gifts for silent auction or anything else, Jean would love to talk with you. You can learn more about the Teal Tea at http://www.tealtea.com.
Last Chance: If you haven't downloaded the 2009 Victory Calendar yet, do it now: http://tinyurl.com/victory09
You still have time to enter the Victorious Woman Essay Contest: http://www.victoriouswoman.com/vwcontest.htm
Thursday, May 7, 2009
What Mom's Really Want for Mother's Day
Wherever I go, it seems women are talking about how they don't feel anyone appreciates what they do for their families, their work, etc. Most moms feel they are there for their families, but when mom needs them to step up and do something for her, everyone seems to get busy.
So, when it comes to Mother's Day, I can't tell you how many women tell me how they put a smile on their face and say thank you for what their children give them - knowing that tomorrow they'll go back to being the invisible family member.
Here's a link to the article...let me know how you feel about it: http://tinyurl.com/whatmomwants
So, when it comes to Mother's Day, I can't tell you how many women tell me how they put a smile on their face and say thank you for what their children give them - knowing that tomorrow they'll go back to being the invisible family member.
Here's a link to the article...let me know how you feel about it: http://tinyurl.com/whatmomwants
Friday, May 1, 2009
Thirty-One Tips for Victory
To help you connect with your inner Victorious Woman, the Victorious Woman Project has a free download of the Victorious Woman Month Calendar. Each day has a tip for connecting with your amazing Victorious Woman SELF - and inviting others to join you in this wonderful celebration of women.
It's fun and inspiring, and available at http://tinyurl.com/victory09
It's fun and inspiring, and available at http://tinyurl.com/victory09
Victorious Woman Month Starts Today!
May is International Victorious Woman Month.
The Victorious Woman Project, whose mission is to empower women to love their lives and live victoriously, is kicking off its annual Victorious Woman Month celebrations, starting with the Victorious Woman Essay Contest. The contest, open to all women worldwide, acknoledeges women for their specific achievements.
Unlike some awards which recognize specifc goals, the Victorious Woman Essay Contest welcomes women to showcase the emotional stretch they made to overcome obstacles they faced on their journey. Contest closes on May 13 and winners will be announced on May 30.
In addition to the annual contest, author and speaker Annmarie Kelly is offering three free teleseminars, the very special Victorious Woman Month Calendar (free download), will be featured on the radio and is hosting the annual Victorious Woman Celebration on May 28
How can you get involved?
1 - Sign on to the Victorious Woman mailing list for event listings announcements: www.victoriouswoman.com
2 - Enter the Victorious Woman Essay Contest - there's still time, you have until May 13 to submit your entry: http://www.victoriouswoman.com/vwcontest.htm
3 - Download the calendar and do the suggested activities: http://tinyurl.com/victory09
4 - Create your own Victorious Woman celebration May 28 and get your friends celebrating their own and each other's victories
Have an incredible and VICTORIOUS Month!
The Victorious Woman Project, whose mission is to empower women to love their lives and live victoriously, is kicking off its annual Victorious Woman Month celebrations, starting with the Victorious Woman Essay Contest. The contest, open to all women worldwide, acknoledeges women for their specific achievements.
Unlike some awards which recognize specifc goals, the Victorious Woman Essay Contest welcomes women to showcase the emotional stretch they made to overcome obstacles they faced on their journey. Contest closes on May 13 and winners will be announced on May 30.
In addition to the annual contest, author and speaker Annmarie Kelly is offering three free teleseminars, the very special Victorious Woman Month Calendar (free download), will be featured on the radio and is hosting the annual Victorious Woman Celebration on May 28
How can you get involved?
1 - Sign on to the Victorious Woman mailing list for event listings announcements: www.victoriouswoman.com
2 - Enter the Victorious Woman Essay Contest - there's still time, you have until May 13 to submit your entry: http://www.victoriouswoman.com/vwcontest.htm
3 - Download the calendar and do the suggested activities: http://tinyurl.com/victory09
4 - Create your own Victorious Woman celebration May 28 and get your friends celebrating their own and each other's victories
Have an incredible and VICTORIOUS Month!
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Susan Boyle - More than Britain's Talent
If you didn’t see and hear Susan Boyle on Britain’s Got Talent, check her out on YouTube.
Susan Boyle is a 47-year-old woman who says she’s never been kissed, in fact, she said she’s never even had a date. She still lives in the house in which she grew up and cared for her parents. Before dying, Susan’s mother told Susan to make something of herself. When Simon Cowell asked her why she hadn’t been successful with a singing career until now, Susan said she’d never been given the chance. She hoped the reality show would be her opportunity.
Can you imagine how Susan Boyle felt? Don’t you wonder how she had the guts to get on that stage? Then, after subtle mocking from not only Simon but the whole audience, don't you wonder how she still kept it together enough to sing...magnificently?
Susan Boyle did five things that opened the door for her: She believed in honoring her commitments, she honed her skill, never gave up, didn’t let her age stop her, and she showed up.
“So what?” you say, "What’s that mean to me?"
Maybe everything. Like Susan Boyle, you don't know where life is going to take you. If life hasn’t turned out the way you wanted, you don't pack it in. Instead, you do what Boyle did, you keep doing your best so that when opportunity comes your way, you're ready. Following Boyle's lead, here's how:
- Make a commitment to yourself and be serious about honoring it. It might also help if you commit to someone else, as in an accountability partner
- Keep practicing what you do best. Maybe it’s not singing in the choir. Maybe your talent is organization and the only practice you get is organizing and managing the volunteers at your child’s school. Keep doing it. Recently, I met a woman whose talent is sewing. One day she made a handbag that got so many compliments, she began making and selling them. In one year, her hobby has grown into a business and a nice income.
- NEVER give up. A dream deferred isn’t a dream denied.
- Too old? Nonsense! Sometimes opportunities come your way with the confidence of experience.
- SHOW UP – if you are always turning your back on an opportunity or saying “no, not now”, nothing will ever happen. You have to show up in your life by saying ‘yes’ to opportunities.
No matter where you are in your life, don’t go quietly into some obscure quiet life. Follow the Victorious Woman Model, just as Susan Boyle did, and LIVE OUT LOUD, IN LIVING COLOR.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Honoring Kay Presto During Women's Heritage Month
When I first found out about Kay Presto, I was really impressed with what she managed to do in motor sports at a time when women weren't very welcome. I could hardly wait to talk to her. That's when (nod to Paul Harvey) I got "the rest of the story."It was 1971 and Kay was only at the car races that day because her daughter was "queen" of the annual event. In fact, when the sports editor of the local paper asked her to write a column, she told him she had no experience. Kay didn't really want the job; she had just left a job so she could write a book and finish raising her four children. But the more she resisted, the more he insisted.
Back then, Kay had no idea what was in store for her. Kay became the first woman photojournalist in motor sports and carved out a career that excites her to this day. Her experiences are great reminders of how far women have come, and that's why she is the special Women's Heritage Month Victorious Woman Honoree.
Kay is such fun to talk to and, each time I have, I've left our conversations inspired and energized. You will be too when you read Kay Presto's story at http://www.victoriouswoman.com/vwmonth.htm
Monday, March 2, 2009
Resilience Triumphes Tragedy
“I couldn’t have imagined that when I got out of the car that day, it would be the last time I would stand alone on my own two feet.”
Rosemarie Rossetti was talking about the day in 1998 that changed her life. It happened the weekend of Rosemarie and Mark’s 3rd wedding anniversary, on a beautiful Saturday afternoon in mid-June. Rosemarie and Mark decided the early summer weather was perfect for a bike ride. The couple mounted their bikes on the car and drove to their favorite bike path, a former railroad track that was part of Ohio’s “rails to trails” system. They rode side by side for a while, and then Rosemarie got a little bit ahead of Mark.
All of a sudden, there was a sound like a gunshot. Looking around, Rosemarie heard Mark shouting at her. She heard the panic in Mark's voice, took it as a warning, and sped up. It wasn’t what Mark was screaming for Rosemarie to do. What Mark saw when he looked around wasn’t someone with a gun. Instead, Mark saw was a 3.5 ton tree, laced with live electric power lines, falling toward Rosemarie. Mark watched helplessly as the tree crashed down, right on top of her. Rosemarie never knew what hit her.
Rosemarie's journey of resilience is a model for all of us - especially now, when all we seem to hear are the "ain't it awful" stories. As I said in my Fall'08 newsletter, "Though there’s no shortage of fear-laced, ominous messages about our economy, if you look at our history, DOWNTURNS – whether they are worldwide or personal – NEVER LAST FOREVER. Unless you let them." Rosemarie could have given up but as you'll read in her story, she took back her life. You will too!
Read Rosemarie's story and tell us your thoughts - including how you are being resilient and taking back your life. Also, learn more about Rosemarie Rossetti and about her Universal Design Living Laboratory.
In Victory,
Annmarie
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Poverty to Prosperity for Hispanic Victorious Woman
When little Connie Harryman found the purple gloves in the dumping ground where her family scavenged, she was only dreaming of success. As she grew up, she could easily have gotten sidetracked by life's twists and turns...but she didn't.
Instead, Connie dug down inside and found her victorious self. As a result, she made her dreams come true. How she did it is the reason The Victorious Woman Project honored Connie as its January 2009 Victorious Woman.
Read her story and let me know what you think. Also, check out Connie's website.
Monday, February 2, 2009
Chatting with Dr. Sally Witt
What fun!
Last Saturday I was on Dr. Sally Witt's radio show on Blog Talk Radio. I know Dr. Sally, the "social networking maven" through the National Speaker's Association. She knows more than anyone I know about the business of social networking and recently spoke for our internet marketing conference...and received RAVE reviews. Dr. Sally combines a gentle, loving style with a natural effervescence. I had a lot of fun as we talked, laughed and shared information and women, success and victory. I think you'd enjoy listening to it so I linked the audio to the title of this blog.
Dr. Sally's radio show features experts on an eclectic group topics. For example, her guest on Friday was Tom Gray, an internet marketing guru. On Saturday's show, Dr. Sally teamed up with Heather Jumah of WealthSuccessandWomen, Inc., a site dedicated to empowering women through entrepreneurship. I was their first guest and was followed by Ruth Clark. Ruth started a company called Fashion Moves and designs clothing for people with disabilities. Her focus is on minimizing dressing challenges "for people who use wheelchairs or have other personal clothing needs" so those challenges don't interfere with their business and success. This week, guests include Daryl Snyder of Elevision and psychic Carol Obley.
Let me know how you like the show. I'd love your feedback.
Here are some websites you want to check out:
Sally Witt: http://www.blogtalkradio.com/drsallywit and dr.sallywitt.com
Heather Jumah: http://wealthsuccessandwomen.com/
Ruth Clark: http://www.fashionmoves.org/
Tom Gray: http://www.gemsolv.com/wordpress/
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Caroline Kennedy and Karyn Greenstreet: The Million Dollar Difference
“I’m short, fat and have red hair.”
That’s how Karyn Greenstreet told me I’d recognize her. I laughed when she said it; her self-deprecating humor tickled me. A few days later, when meeting the well-known speaker and business coach at a conference, in a crowded hotel lobby, I recognized her instantly, and liked her immediately. Everything about Karyn was congruent and seemed to add to her confidence, which in turn, added to her credibility. By day’s end, everyone who attended her sessions felt the same way.
Congruency is something I think too few of us understand when it comes to success and our careers. According to the research, people make up their minds about us within the first second or two of meeting us. If we aren’t crystal clear about who we are and what we’re doing, it comes across. When we aren’t congruent, it’s almost like putting an invisible question mark over our name and image. Then, no matter how good we are in our entrepreneurial or corporate ventures, the cloud of uncertainty sticks in the minds of those we meet; unfortunately, it negatively impacts our career – and usually we can never figure out why.
It’s like Caroline Kennedy Schlossberg. For all the political power of the Kennedy machine, most people thought that Caroline Kennedy either didn’t really want the job or wasn’t qualified for it. It didn’t matter that her press statements insisted that she believed she would make a good senator for New York. When it came to her interviews, her incongruence was painfully obvious. Even worse, it was in stark contrast to the strong messages she conveyed during appearances in support of then-candidate Barack Obama. Unfortunately, when it came to her own prospects for Congress, Ms. Schlossberg never really seemed to embrace the idea of political life. In the end, she withdrew her name from consideration.
Do you think you are more like Karyn Greenstreet or Caroline Kennedy Schlossberg? How congruent are you? Does everything match? Do your attitudes and words match your look and behaviors?
If you aren’t getting where you want to go, maybe you need to look inside as well as outside, and ask yourself if the messages you are sending out to the public line up with what’s going on in your head and heart. Maybe there conflicts going on that you might not be aware of, but which others can clearly see.
If you don’t feel your passion for a business or a topic, others will feel it. If you are touting talking points you don’t fully embrace, others will know. If your work doesn’t match your values, it will show.
Which brings me back to Karyn Greenstreet…
Karyn’s passion is small business. Earlier this month she spoke for my National Speakers Association Mid-Atlantic chapter’s annual conference. She spoke about Search Engine Optimization (SEO) for small businesses. She delivered two great presentations and wowed our attendees with her knowledge and generosity in sharing information. Her coaching business is thriving and I believe it isn’t only because she’s knows her stuff. She does, of course, but also, she’s totally jazzed about what she does. She’s authentic from the inside out – and so self-accepting that she makes short, fat and red hair a plus for her image. People see her, feel how real she is, and believe she’s got what they need.
Check out Karyn’s website at www.passionforbusiness.com
That’s how Karyn Greenstreet told me I’d recognize her. I laughed when she said it; her self-deprecating humor tickled me. A few days later, when meeting the well-known speaker and business coach at a conference, in a crowded hotel lobby, I recognized her instantly, and liked her immediately. Everything about Karyn was congruent and seemed to add to her confidence, which in turn, added to her credibility. By day’s end, everyone who attended her sessions felt the same way.
Congruency is something I think too few of us understand when it comes to success and our careers. According to the research, people make up their minds about us within the first second or two of meeting us. If we aren’t crystal clear about who we are and what we’re doing, it comes across. When we aren’t congruent, it’s almost like putting an invisible question mark over our name and image. Then, no matter how good we are in our entrepreneurial or corporate ventures, the cloud of uncertainty sticks in the minds of those we meet; unfortunately, it negatively impacts our career – and usually we can never figure out why.
It’s like Caroline Kennedy Schlossberg. For all the political power of the Kennedy machine, most people thought that Caroline Kennedy either didn’t really want the job or wasn’t qualified for it. It didn’t matter that her press statements insisted that she believed she would make a good senator for New York. When it came to her interviews, her incongruence was painfully obvious. Even worse, it was in stark contrast to the strong messages she conveyed during appearances in support of then-candidate Barack Obama. Unfortunately, when it came to her own prospects for Congress, Ms. Schlossberg never really seemed to embrace the idea of political life. In the end, she withdrew her name from consideration.
Do you think you are more like Karyn Greenstreet or Caroline Kennedy Schlossberg? How congruent are you? Does everything match? Do your attitudes and words match your look and behaviors?
If you aren’t getting where you want to go, maybe you need to look inside as well as outside, and ask yourself if the messages you are sending out to the public line up with what’s going on in your head and heart. Maybe there conflicts going on that you might not be aware of, but which others can clearly see.
If you don’t feel your passion for a business or a topic, others will feel it. If you are touting talking points you don’t fully embrace, others will know. If your work doesn’t match your values, it will show.
Which brings me back to Karyn Greenstreet…
Karyn’s passion is small business. Earlier this month she spoke for my National Speakers Association Mid-Atlantic chapter’s annual conference. She spoke about Search Engine Optimization (SEO) for small businesses. She delivered two great presentations and wowed our attendees with her knowledge and generosity in sharing information. Her coaching business is thriving and I believe it isn’t only because she’s knows her stuff. She does, of course, but also, she’s totally jazzed about what she does. She’s authentic from the inside out – and so self-accepting that she makes short, fat and red hair a plus for her image. People see her, feel how real she is, and believe she’s got what they need.
Check out Karyn’s website at www.passionforbusiness.com
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
New Year's Resolution - Success Tips for Women
New Year, New You, right? HARDLY!
Did you know that women are more likely than men to make New Year's Resolutions (74% vs. 58%), yet only 14% of women actually succeed in following through on their good intentions? What happens?
I think it's that we tend to underestimate how much emotional energy we need to succeed. If you ask a hundred women why they quit working on a specific goal (and I have), most of the reasons will boil down to being emotionally worn out. The average woman gives so much to so many, and usually keeps very little for herself. It's one of the key ways we differ from men.”
As you plan to ring in 2009, I have some tips that takes emotional meltdowns into consideration. This year, you'll not only make a resolution, but be successful in keeping it. Here are the first two:
1. Pump Up The Passion. If accomplishing your New Year’s Resolution seems like a lot of work that doesn’t give you a lot of benefit, you’ll fail. Your reward has to outweigh the challenges.
What is it about your resolution that really jazzes you? For instance, why do you want a promotion? If you want it because it will give you more money or power, in what specific ways will money or power make your life better, happier or more satisfying? List the benefits and keep adding to them. Make the end result so incredibly attractive that you’ll keep going when the going gets tough – and it will.
2. Think ahead. As you planned recent holiday events, did you think about that one guest who doesn't eat meat, and made sure there was something vegetarian on the menu? Or what about the relative that is moody or drinks to much - didn't you anticipate what could go wrong and make a plan to handle it? Of course, you did. Women do it all the time for everyone else, both in and out of work, but we usually don’t think to apply the same process to our own success.
What do you think can be an obstacle to your success? If you want to get thin, what usually gets in your way of losing weight? Maybe you get home from work and just eat whatever is available, or eat fast food. So preplan your meals, including a quick snack that you can eat while you get the meal ready.
If you want to get a promotion at work, what do you think will stop you? Are you the kind of person who plays herself too small? Then get a book that will help you do better. I like the book BRAG! by Peggy Klaus. In fact, my Dangerous Dining Book Club read it in November, and we all agreed that we could learn to brag better.
Check back during January for more tips. And, email me to share ones that you've had success with...I look forward to hearing from you.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Did you know that women are more likely than men to make New Year's Resolutions (74% vs. 58%), yet only 14% of women actually succeed in following through on their good intentions? What happens?
I think it's that we tend to underestimate how much emotional energy we need to succeed. If you ask a hundred women why they quit working on a specific goal (and I have), most of the reasons will boil down to being emotionally worn out. The average woman gives so much to so many, and usually keeps very little for herself. It's one of the key ways we differ from men.”
As you plan to ring in 2009, I have some tips that takes emotional meltdowns into consideration. This year, you'll not only make a resolution, but be successful in keeping it. Here are the first two:
1. Pump Up The Passion. If accomplishing your New Year’s Resolution seems like a lot of work that doesn’t give you a lot of benefit, you’ll fail. Your reward has to outweigh the challenges.
What is it about your resolution that really jazzes you? For instance, why do you want a promotion? If you want it because it will give you more money or power, in what specific ways will money or power make your life better, happier or more satisfying? List the benefits and keep adding to them. Make the end result so incredibly attractive that you’ll keep going when the going gets tough – and it will.
2. Think ahead. As you planned recent holiday events, did you think about that one guest who doesn't eat meat, and made sure there was something vegetarian on the menu? Or what about the relative that is moody or drinks to much - didn't you anticipate what could go wrong and make a plan to handle it? Of course, you did. Women do it all the time for everyone else, both in and out of work, but we usually don’t think to apply the same process to our own success.
What do you think can be an obstacle to your success? If you want to get thin, what usually gets in your way of losing weight? Maybe you get home from work and just eat whatever is available, or eat fast food. So preplan your meals, including a quick snack that you can eat while you get the meal ready.
If you want to get a promotion at work, what do you think will stop you? Are you the kind of person who plays herself too small? Then get a book that will help you do better. I like the book BRAG! by Peggy Klaus. In fact, my Dangerous Dining Book Club read it in November, and we all agreed that we could learn to brag better.
Check back during January for more tips. And, email me to share ones that you've had success with...I look forward to hearing from you.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Friday, December 26, 2008
Washington Crossed the Delaware on Christmas - and So Did I!
It was freezing that day in 1776. General George Washington and his troops crossed from Pennsylvania into New Jersey during the American Revolutionary War. Washington devised the battle plan in an effort the keep British troops at bay. The strategy required his troops to cross the half-frozen river on a bitter cold Christmas day. It was a daring move, and it could have been a disaster, but it wasn't.
Every year, the famous crossing is reenacted. This year I was part of it. I didn't cross the river by boat (no one did - the waters were wild and dangerous), but I did walk across the Delaware on a wooden foot bridge. Bridges are a challenge for me, and when the opportunity appeared, I thought twice about going. But, using the steel handrail to steady myself, I took the 30-40 minute walk to New Jersey and back. It wasn't too cold and I dressed warmly, but the swirling waters beneath me made me a little dizzy...and I second-guessed my decision.
When I got back on solid ground, I was glad. I think it's good for me to move out of my comfort zone and challenge myself - and I think it's good for you too. I have some "getting started" ideas in my current newsletter. You can get the current issue by clicking on this post's title.
Hope and That Little Town of Bethlehem
“O Little Town of Bethlehem” - you probably sang it this season, or at least heard it. Did you know the words were written in 1868, by a minister from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania? Isn't it amazing how timeless the sentiment is – “the hopes and fears of all the years” - fitting both a post-Civil War economy and a current-day recession. They are both part of our human experience.
Yet, if you focus on fear, you can make yourself a nervous wreck. Since you're constantly bombarded with negative news, you can worry about the economy, jobs and the state of the world, wondering what’s going to happen next. Maybe you have forgotten what it means to live within your means and, like so many of us, wrap values around the money-made “show” of your life, instead of the value-driven “flow” of it.
Still, in the midst of all the negativity, you can choose to feel hope. I do.
Many economists think that the economy will turn around by next fall. I hope they’re right. However, it’s in women that I have the most hope. It’s in you and me and the other women in my town – and yours. We are leaders in our families, at work, and in our communities. We all have a wonderful opportunity to learn (or maybe relearn) lessons about what we value that has nothing to do with money, and everything to do with meaningful living – or as pastor Rick Warren would describe – a purpose-driven life.
As you think about your life and the future this Christmas Day 2008, and your hopes and fears, what are some of the values you would like to focus on throughout this holiday season and into 2009? Will you refocus your behaviors to be more in line with integrity and honesty? Will your spending habits reflect good sense instead of instant gratification? What about practicing perseverance instead of giving up and focused living instead scattered and imbalanced lifestyles?
What values will be shaping your life over the next year or so? How about sharing them with other readers - you'll never know who you'll be helping!
Yet, if you focus on fear, you can make yourself a nervous wreck. Since you're constantly bombarded with negative news, you can worry about the economy, jobs and the state of the world, wondering what’s going to happen next. Maybe you have forgotten what it means to live within your means and, like so many of us, wrap values around the money-made “show” of your life, instead of the value-driven “flow” of it.
Still, in the midst of all the negativity, you can choose to feel hope. I do.
Many economists think that the economy will turn around by next fall. I hope they’re right. However, it’s in women that I have the most hope. It’s in you and me and the other women in my town – and yours. We are leaders in our families, at work, and in our communities. We all have a wonderful opportunity to learn (or maybe relearn) lessons about what we value that has nothing to do with money, and everything to do with meaningful living – or as pastor Rick Warren would describe – a purpose-driven life.
As you think about your life and the future this Christmas Day 2008, and your hopes and fears, what are some of the values you would like to focus on throughout this holiday season and into 2009? Will you refocus your behaviors to be more in line with integrity and honesty? Will your spending habits reflect good sense instead of instant gratification? What about practicing perseverance instead of giving up and focused living instead scattered and imbalanced lifestyles?
What values will be shaping your life over the next year or so? How about sharing them with other readers - you'll never know who you'll be helping!
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Thanksgiving 2008
Even though it's Thanksgiving, there seems to be nearly no way to avoid the doom and gloom news about how bad the economy. If you are one of those who is stressed out and worrying yourself sleepless because of money matters, here's a suggestion for a first-step toward financial peace and personal empowerment: PRACTICE GRATITUDE DAILY.
Don't roll your eyes...there is actual research that shows that those who practice gratitude aren't merely happier - though, frankly, wouldn't that be enough of a reason? In fact, research shows the attitude of gratitude also makes you healthier, more social, AND less dependent on material things to satisfy your needs and desires. In a tough economy, happiness helps you to adjust to change, sociability enables you to still have fun without spending tons of bucks, and less dependence on material things guides your spending and keeps you sane.
If you aren't already seeing your family, friends, job, house, etc. with a grateful eye, Thanksgiving is the perfect day to start. In everything you do today, think about what's good about it. Think about little things, like how good your bed feels and what a beautiful day it is. Then make a list of everyone you love and, thinking about every person you love, find one good thing about them for which you are thankful.
As you go through your day, refuse to focus on the imperfection and instead, find something good about it. If you don't like turkey, think about how good the desserts are. If you have a miserable relative who always makes trouble at dinner, be grateful that you'll go home without him or her.
If it seems hard, make a game of it with yourself and the people around you. Challenge each other to find good in whatever is going on around you. Make it serious...not joking about it.
Life isn't perfect, so stop looking for it to be that way. Look instead for what's good about your life, and be grateful. Consistently practicing gratitude will set you on a healtier path toward victory.
Personally, I am so grateful that I live in God's abundant universe and that my life is filled with wonderful people. That includes you!
Happy Thanksgiving!
Don't roll your eyes...there is actual research that shows that those who practice gratitude aren't merely happier - though, frankly, wouldn't that be enough of a reason? In fact, research shows the attitude of gratitude also makes you healthier, more social, AND less dependent on material things to satisfy your needs and desires. In a tough economy, happiness helps you to adjust to change, sociability enables you to still have fun without spending tons of bucks, and less dependence on material things guides your spending and keeps you sane.
If you aren't already seeing your family, friends, job, house, etc. with a grateful eye, Thanksgiving is the perfect day to start. In everything you do today, think about what's good about it. Think about little things, like how good your bed feels and what a beautiful day it is. Then make a list of everyone you love and, thinking about every person you love, find one good thing about them for which you are thankful.
As you go through your day, refuse to focus on the imperfection and instead, find something good about it. If you don't like turkey, think about how good the desserts are. If you have a miserable relative who always makes trouble at dinner, be grateful that you'll go home without him or her.
If it seems hard, make a game of it with yourself and the people around you. Challenge each other to find good in whatever is going on around you. Make it serious...not joking about it.
Life isn't perfect, so stop looking for it to be that way. Look instead for what's good about your life, and be grateful. Consistently practicing gratitude will set you on a healtier path toward victory.
Personally, I am so grateful that I live in God's abundant universe and that my life is filled with wonderful people. That includes you!
Happy Thanksgiving!
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Today’s Economy: Thriver Tips for Women
Economists, financial commentators and even Oprah and Suze Orman have been warning us for years that a crisis was coming and our personal finances would be hit pretty hard. Now it’s here. The economy is who-knows-where, your 401K is a joke and the stock market’s ups and downs are making you feel queasier than riding a roller coaster. Whether you’re watching CNN, MSNBC, or your local news, all you hear at every turn is FEAR, FEAR, FEAR. You’re scared about what’s going to happen next and that this crisis could last for years. You know you set the tone in your life and in your household, what do you do?
The good news is that we’re all in this together, so as we make changes in our lifestyles, we won’t be alone. BUT, we each have to take responsibility for our own finances. That means YOU have to take action. Where do you start? What ideas do you have for dealing with this economy?
Send your tips to me, at info@victoriouswoman.com, and I'll send you my article, The Victorious Woman's Guide to Thriving, with SIX STEPS you can take to thrive inspite of today's current economic woes - starting today,
The good news is that we’re all in this together, so as we make changes in our lifestyles, we won’t be alone. BUT, we each have to take responsibility for our own finances. That means YOU have to take action. Where do you start? What ideas do you have for dealing with this economy?
Send your tips to me, at info@victoriouswoman.com, and I'll send you my article, The Victorious Woman's Guide to Thriving, with SIX STEPS you can take to thrive inspite of today's current economic woes - starting today,
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Pennsylvania Votes!
I live in the red hot voting suburbs of Chester County, in "battleground" Pennsylvania. I'm a regular voter and usually walk in and out. This morning, however, I waited in the longest voting line of my lifetime. On my way out, the line had doubled. It seems that, this election, everyone wants to be heard.
Poll workers made the wait tolerable. They had donuts, coffee and even freshly baked chocolate chip cookies. I spent the time reading a book I brought and chatting with neighbors I hadn't seen since the summer. My greatest stress was wondering how long my bladder would hold out. It did...just barely.
While I waited, I couldn't help but think that, no matter who wins, this is exciting. It's what our wonderful democracy is about, that is, being a population caring enough to make our vote heard. It's what “let freedom rings” means. Those aren't just words, it’s us we’re talking about – we’re freedom and our vote is our right to be heard, our freedom ringing. Not everyone around the world can do that, and it's what makes today so important, in so many ways.
When we vote, it’s one of the ways we express our approval or disapproval of the current system. And, it isn’t just about voting for a president once every four years. We have the priviledge of choosing our legislative representatives too, and we do that more often.
As a victorious woman, you know you have to stay on top of the events that affect your life. Yet too many of us don't know common civics. So, just in case you don’t already know, here are a few freedom-ringer basics:
As the weeks go on, and the new president takes office and congress starts a new term, make a point to listen and read and evaluate the facts. Be wary of journalists, commentators and pundits. In the past, they prided themselves on keeping their politics private, but most of them no longer do. Just as the porkbarrel spending has increased, journalistic integrity has decreased. Instead, trust yourself and pay attention to the facts. When you know what’s going on, you – and we - can make our voices heard. WE can be loud enough to overshadow the lobbyists, and WE can hold our politicians to a standard that includes serving our best interests...not theirs.
It's our civic right...and responsibility. Let freedom ring!
Poll workers made the wait tolerable. They had donuts, coffee and even freshly baked chocolate chip cookies. I spent the time reading a book I brought and chatting with neighbors I hadn't seen since the summer. My greatest stress was wondering how long my bladder would hold out. It did...just barely.
While I waited, I couldn't help but think that, no matter who wins, this is exciting. It's what our wonderful democracy is about, that is, being a population caring enough to make our vote heard. It's what “let freedom rings” means. Those aren't just words, it’s us we’re talking about – we’re freedom and our vote is our right to be heard, our freedom ringing. Not everyone around the world can do that, and it's what makes today so important, in so many ways.
When we vote, it’s one of the ways we express our approval or disapproval of the current system. And, it isn’t just about voting for a president once every four years. We have the priviledge of choosing our legislative representatives too, and we do that more often.
As a victorious woman, you know you have to stay on top of the events that affect your life. Yet too many of us don't know common civics. So, just in case you don’t already know, here are a few freedom-ringer basics:
- There are three branches of our government at the national and state levels: executive, judicial and legislative.
- We have two kinds of elections: general elections and primary elections.
- The people who run in the general elections, held in November, are picked in the primary elections, usually held in the spring; we vote for them based on our party affiliation.
- The President and his crew (the Cabinet) are the Executive Branch of government.
- The Supreme Court is the Judicial Branch. Their job is to interpret the laws that Congress makes, based on our constitution. When a judge retires or dies, the president chooses a new judge to fill his/her place. If the president is a conservative (like Reagan or Bush), s/he is likely to add conservative judges while a liberal president, like Clinton, will probably add more liberal judges.
- Our Senators and Representatives make up the Legislative Branch. They write the bills and make the laws that shape our way of life. Unfortunately, especially in recent years, they are also the ones who have added millions and millions of dollars worth of “junk” spending - usually to pay back the special interest groups who ply the legislature with special perks. No party is clean when it comes to porkbarrel spending...they are all equally guilty of spending our money on their special interests.
- To understand the legislative process, go to YouTube and watch the three minute cartoon, “Schoolhouse Rock – How a Bill Becomes A Law".
- You can find out how your senators and representative vote on many websites, like govtrack.us, votesmart.org, politico.org, thomas.loc.gov. You can find out what bills are voted on, which legislator voted and how, what kind of pork was included, and even find out who’s lobbying your politicians for votes for their special interests.
As the weeks go on, and the new president takes office and congress starts a new term, make a point to listen and read and evaluate the facts. Be wary of journalists, commentators and pundits. In the past, they prided themselves on keeping their politics private, but most of them no longer do. Just as the porkbarrel spending has increased, journalistic integrity has decreased. Instead, trust yourself and pay attention to the facts. When you know what’s going on, you – and we - can make our voices heard. WE can be loud enough to overshadow the lobbyists, and WE can hold our politicians to a standard that includes serving our best interests...not theirs.
It's our civic right...and responsibility. Let freedom ring!
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