Tuesday, March 27, 2007


I recently had two reminders about the importance of intentions. One came from a woman following one of the sessions in my complimentary e-course(available by sending an email to ecourse@victoriouswoman.com). The other came while attending the Philadelphia Flower Show where several judged entries not only stated the name of the flower display, but the artists’ intention.

One thing you need to know is that intentions are not goals. Instead, intentions set the scene for an outcome. I was particularly struck how the artists at the flower show explained their intentions. One Tuscan-like display intended a quick return to their favorite paradise. Another intended the space be a reminder of “no worries and no cares in a beautiful atmosphere.” Still another intended, “I am relaxed and rejuvenated by the beauty of nature around me. Other intentions included being surrounded by friends, a life of passion, laughter and merriment wherever life leads, kinship with others, and undying love.

When you set a goal for your life, having an intention is a really important step in the process. Without it you could be steering yourself into disappointment. Have you ever heard of someone whose goal was to become a millionaire and, when they achieved it, they weren’t happy? That’s often because they had an intention that was at cross points with their goal. For example, an intention to have fun and travel doesn’t mix with a career path that requires a long-term or permanent 80-hour, always-on-call work week. Or, an intention to be a great mother who finds fulfillment being surrounded by loving family is thwarted by your can’t-say-no-to-anyone volunteer jobs that take so much time that you hardly ever even eat dinner with your family.

On the other hand, if you value personal satisfaction and intend to have a life that balances caring for others with self-fulfillment, you are likely to choose a career that enables you to do both – like being a teacher so you can be home when your kids are home. You may not make scads of money, at least not quickly, but you will be happier because you are matching what you value and intend with your life path. When you have congruency, you have happiness.

Are your intentions congruent with your goals? If not, how not? If they aren’t that’s why the stuff you want might not be showing up.

Friday, March 23, 2007


In my previous post I explained the sabotaging Steppping Stones: Victim and Surviving. Now, read about the Stepping Stones that not only support your victories...they support your entire life!

Savvy aka Advancing: Takes herself and her development seriously. She expects others spouse/partner/children/etc. to also take her seriously. Interdependence is the key word for this stepping stone. This is the skillbuilding garden for growing victories.

Victorious: Makes time and space to boldly acknowledge victories. It doesn't matter if a victory means rising to the head of the company, overcoming fear of public speaking to make a presentation, or setting a boundary in order to gain more respect in the home.

Victory is something you do (not done by someone for you) that stretches you on the inside - doing something that is right and healthy for you but which you didn't think you could do. It's about getting past fear, criticism, disapproval or whatever else holds you back from being your best self.

Since we tend to occasionally move from one to another, it's really important to know TWO things:
1 - Which of the Victorious Woman! Stepping Stones™ do you want to be on most of the time?
2 - Which one are you one most of the the time?

Knowing where you are, and where you want to be, is the key to developing a lifestyle that gets your started and keeps you going forward. It helps you choose what to keep, what to give away (and when), how to ask for help from your family, how much held to give...and when to pull back.

On which Stepping Stone am I most likely to find YOU, most of the time?

Think about it...

©AnnmarieKelly2007. All Rights Reserved.

Want to get started and keep going? Sign up for my free e-course at ecourse@victoriouswoman.com with "SEND ME MY FREE ECOURSE" in the subject line.

Monday, March 19, 2007

Victory UP!

In the past couple posts I wrote about the four Victorious Woman! Stepping Stones™: Victorious ∙ Savvy ∙ Surviving ∙ Victim. The first two, Victorious and Savvy, are the Stepping Stones which support a woman in victory. The latter, Surviving and Victim, sabotage victory. Here's a brief description of the sabotaging stepping stones:

Victim: Makes bad choices, doesn't hold self accountable for what happens, always blames someone or something else for problems. It's the "poor me" stepping stone.

Surviving: Convinces herself that she is satisfied (or stuck with) the status quo. Often lives vicariously through others, like spouse/partner/children. Fixing them is easier than fixing herself. It's the "settling" stepping stone and is fraught with overcaring tendencies.

Do you see yourself in either one of these. An occasional victim or surviving moment is OK, but do you live there? Your words and behaviors tell the story. Watch what you say and do. Think about it. Be radically honest with yourself.

I'll tell you about savvy and victorious in the next post.

With my best intentions,