Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Edwards and Hunter - What's Wrong?

So it’s happened again. Another ego-driven politician in a sex scandal swearing it isn’t true until (surprise!) there’s proof. Nothing new, just change the names and faces to Clinton, Morris, or any of the amazingly long list, and it’s the same story.

There is no justification for what Edwards did – and he agrees. And who knows if this is the first time…or just the first time Edwards got caught.

And what about Rielle Hunter?
She’s an over-forty woman who is old enough to know better. She knew John Edwards was married with children – including a couple young ones – and knew he was in all the media, including on Oprah, talking about his politics and fluffing about his relationship with his spouse. Then, and now, she knows Elizabeth Edwards is suffering from an incurable cancer. So why did she go after him?? Or, maybe Edwards pursued her. If that's the case, why did she go along with it?

Yes, I know. Stuff happens. I live in the real world. I was single for a long time and had plenty of chances to have affairs with married men. And there was even a time or two when, during a lonely or particularly difficult time, I considered it. I didn’t do it because it was wrong. Though it seems in our society as though we’ve gotten away from making judgments about what is right and what is wrong, that doesn’t change the facts.

In Hunter’s case, she’s brought a child into the world in scandal – married man, maybe more than one man could be the father. That sordid story will haunt that innocent baby throughout her whole life. Even after the tabloids die down, even fifty years from now, there will always be a rumor or a whisper about her mother’s disgraceful digression and her father’s true identity.

What’s the solution? There isn’t one.

So what's in all they hype for you? There is something you can learn from Hunter and Edwards.

YOU CAN CHOOSE a code of conduct that lifts you up instead of dragging you (and your loved ones) down. You can choose to put certain behaviors on the DO NOT list. It’s like people who quit smoking. They know they can't have a cigarette. I know. When I stopped, I decided that I would never pick up a cigarette and smoke it. I know, even now, if I pick up a cigarette today, I’d be back to a pack-a-day by tomorrow. So I just don’t do it.

Think of the people on a diet or who have a food allergy. They cut out a food, like peanuts or fried foods. Whether they want them or not, those items just can’t be on their menu. They can look at the peanuts or fries, and maybe yearn for them, but they just don’t have ‘em.

Here are my suggestions for a couple “off my list” dating decisions:
You will make decisions that protect you now and in the future;
you won’t have sex unless your man is using a condom – no exceptions;
you won’t date men with bad tempers or possessive behaviors
you will break up with a guy as soon as he demonstrates the bad behaviors on your “no” list;
you won’t knowingly date a married man;
• and, if the guy lied and really is married, you will dump him, no matter how much you think you love him. You’ll do it because you deserve better!

In the end, whatever happens, you will experience the law of cause and effect. When you make the cause – that is, your behavior – strong with healthy decisions and actions, your effect is bound to be good. Yes, stuff happens, but even when it happens to you, you are always in control of how you respond.

Choose to be the BEST of who you are…and don’t let anyone or anything take you off your BEST LIFE course.

In victory,

Friday, August 8, 2008

NSA Week in New York City

Whew! What a week!

I just returned from the annual convention of the National Speakers Association, of which I’m a proud member. This year, NSAers met in eclectic New York City at a hotel right smack in the heart of Times Square.

For those of you who have been, you know just being in NYC is an experience. There is so much to do in NYC, from the diverse lower Manhattan, busy midtown, uptown with its Lincoln Center, Central Park, St. Pat’s and tons more in each of the 5 boros...and fagettaboutit in Brooklyn.

Since I live only a couple hours from NYC, we visit fairly often. Unlike many of my colleagues, it was no surprise to me how, at 11pm, the streets were as crowded as they were at 2pm. It really is the city that never sleeps. Street performers were in abundance, a SWAT team made sure competing anti-war/support the troops rallies stayed civil and a taxi driver actually got out of his taxi (while he had a fare inside) and physically threatened a pedestrian who yelled at him for making a turn too close to the curb - and the pedestrian took him on. It was all typical, tough New York City.
For me, the outside stuff was same old same old. It's what happened inside the hotel each day that was magic. On the main stage, Marshall Goldsmith, Steve Forbes, Cathie Black and Bill Strickland presented their keynotes. So did attorney and news anchor Manny Mandrano and humorist Bill Stainton. I’ll talk more about them in my next few blogs.

Though many of the seminars didn't have as many tips and techniques as I would have liked, I got a few gems from speakers and tons from the other participants. You’ll be benefiting from some of those in upcoming months.

The grand finale was the awards banquet. This annual formal dinner had its usual Oscar-like aura. However, unlike Hollywood’s awards nights, NSA’s newly designated CPAE's (an honor bestowed on the best of the best), gave gracious acceptance speeches. But it was Cavatt award-winner Mike McKinley's acceptance speech that brought me – and most of the audience – to tears. Mike was widowed a few years ago. His spouse was also a speaker and beloved NSA member. He fought hard to stay engaged with life, and his profession. He spoke about his late spouse with love and affection. He also spoke about his new bride, and how she helped pull him out of the depths of sadness. He was warm, touching, and at the same time, had us laughing through our tears.

This year, the NSA foundation raised over $60,000 and the Cigar Peg, the sometimes raunchy stepchild of the NSA, also raised over $60,000 for the NSA charities.

I’ve returned home newly inspired to give YOU - MY READERS AND CLIENTS - the best of my best. More than ever I’m committed to providing inspiration and education that will help you BE MORE of the person you truly are, DO MORE of what satisfies your soul and HAVE MORE of the life you were put here to live so you can do your part to positively change the world.

Now my job is to take action. Stay tuned.

Woman Survives Panic Disorder

Karen Muranko lived with panic disorder for over twenty years. Today, with the help of her support team, she’s a happy and healthy survivor of the disorder.

Her story placed 2nd in the 2008 Victorious Woman Essay Contest. She is this month’s Victorious Woman of the Month. You can read her winning essay at http://www.victoriouswoman.com/vwmonth.htm.

By the way, in case you missed reading about our 1st prize winner and how she helped her son cope with her divorce, click on http://www.victoriouswoman.com/Files/RosalindSedacca.pdf to read her 1st prize-winning essay.

In victory,