Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Why Victorious???

I'm often asked two questions that annoy me, almost for the same reason: (1) why do I think it's so important for a woman to be victorious and (2) is Victorious Woman a religious thing.

I'll rant first about the latter, the Victorious Woman being religious. It seems that many people think that the only woman who would want to be called victorious is the one who is fighting the devil...or Satan...or some other evil force. It's as though a woman can only have a fiery passion - or maybe it's the right - to act victoriously when it's about religion. I think, at best, that's small-minded thinking. It's wrong on so many levels that I can't even start to address them, except to say that it's one those subtle biases that, on the surface, seems benign but packs a punch...against women.

Which leads me to the first question about the importance of being a Victorious Woman and the phone call that got me fired up today. The woman who called me was married for thirty-two years. When she first got pregnant, she gave up her career to be a stay-at-home mom. She raised three children, did all the household, school and chauffeur stuff, and was soon to be an empty nester. Then one day, she got the "I want a divorce/I found someone else" speech. She was suddenly single, devastated, and petrified to go back into the workplace...or date...or be alone. After years of being a "good girl" and playing it safe, she felt as though she was thrown to the wolves.

Now she has the opportunity to stretch into her victorious self. Of course, she doesn't see it that way at the moment...and might still not see it that way for a while. What makes it hard for her is that, year after year, she gave away little pieces of herself. She bent this way and that to accommodate her spouse, children, parents, friends...and after a while, she became someone else. Now she has to find her way back to herself. Her SELF is covered over with years of everyone else's gunk and she has to peel back the layers that numbed her passions. She has to search for the spark that is her excitement. She can do it...but it'll take time.

That's why keeping the Victorious Woman in you alive and vibrant is so important. Like all of us, you don't know what the future holds. You have to be ready for the events that challenge your comfortable status quo. For my caller, it was a sudden divorce. For you it could be something else. If you aren't consistently building your victory-making muscles, you make your life - and the challenges that come with it - more difficult.

Dear Victorious Woman, make a promise to yourself right now to do something everyday that makes you use your victory muscle. Challenge yourself into doing something that you don't feel confident enough to do. If you make a mistake, good. It'll show you what doesn't work, so you can try something else the next time. With each victory exercise, you'll grow stronger and, at some point, you'll be counting on the Victorious Woman in you to get you through. And you'll be really glad you know her!

Victory is Contagious. Catch the Power and Spread it Around!

1 comment:

Luís said...

You really work alot... good blog