New Year, New You, right? HARDLY!
Did you know that women are more likely than men to make New Year's Resolutions (74% vs. 58%), yet only 14% of women actually succeed in following through on their good intentions? What happens?
I think it's that we tend to underestimate how much emotional energy we need to succeed. If you ask a hundred women why they quit working on a specific goal (and I have), most of the reasons will boil down to being emotionally worn out. The average woman gives so much to so many, and usually keeps very little for herself. It's one of the key ways we differ from men.”
As you plan to ring in 2009, I have some tips that takes emotional meltdowns into consideration. This year, you'll not only make a resolution, but be successful in keeping it. Here are the first two:
1. Pump Up The Passion. If accomplishing your New Year’s Resolution seems like a lot of work that doesn’t give you a lot of benefit, you’ll fail. Your reward has to outweigh the challenges.
What is it about your resolution that really jazzes you? For instance, why do you want a promotion? If you want it because it will give you more money or power, in what specific ways will money or power make your life better, happier or more satisfying? List the benefits and keep adding to them. Make the end result so incredibly attractive that you’ll keep going when the going gets tough – and it will.
2. Think ahead. As you planned recent holiday events, did you think about that one guest who doesn't eat meat, and made sure there was something vegetarian on the menu? Or what about the relative that is moody or drinks to much - didn't you anticipate what could go wrong and make a plan to handle it? Of course, you did. Women do it all the time for everyone else, both in and out of work, but we usually don’t think to apply the same process to our own success.
What do you think can be an obstacle to your success? If you want to get thin, what usually gets in your way of losing weight? Maybe you get home from work and just eat whatever is available, or eat fast food. So preplan your meals, including a quick snack that you can eat while you get the meal ready.
If you want to get a promotion at work, what do you think will stop you? Are you the kind of person who plays herself too small? Then get a book that will help you do better. I like the book BRAG! by Peggy Klaus. In fact, my Dangerous Dining Book Club read it in November, and we all agreed that we could learn to brag better.
Check back during January for more tips. And, email me to share ones that you've had success with...I look forward to hearing from you.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Showing posts with label behaviors. Show all posts
Showing posts with label behaviors. Show all posts
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Friday, December 26, 2008
Hope and That Little Town of Bethlehem
“O Little Town of Bethlehem” - you probably sang it this season, or at least heard it. Did you know the words were written in 1868, by a minister from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania? Isn't it amazing how timeless the sentiment is – “the hopes and fears of all the years” - fitting both a post-Civil War economy and a current-day recession. They are both part of our human experience.
Yet, if you focus on fear, you can make yourself a nervous wreck. Since you're constantly bombarded with negative news, you can worry about the economy, jobs and the state of the world, wondering what’s going to happen next. Maybe you have forgotten what it means to live within your means and, like so many of us, wrap values around the money-made “show” of your life, instead of the value-driven “flow” of it.
Still, in the midst of all the negativity, you can choose to feel hope. I do.
Many economists think that the economy will turn around by next fall. I hope they’re right. However, it’s in women that I have the most hope. It’s in you and me and the other women in my town – and yours. We are leaders in our families, at work, and in our communities. We all have a wonderful opportunity to learn (or maybe relearn) lessons about what we value that has nothing to do with money, and everything to do with meaningful living – or as pastor Rick Warren would describe – a purpose-driven life.
As you think about your life and the future this Christmas Day 2008, and your hopes and fears, what are some of the values you would like to focus on throughout this holiday season and into 2009? Will you refocus your behaviors to be more in line with integrity and honesty? Will your spending habits reflect good sense instead of instant gratification? What about practicing perseverance instead of giving up and focused living instead scattered and imbalanced lifestyles?
What values will be shaping your life over the next year or so? How about sharing them with other readers - you'll never know who you'll be helping!
Yet, if you focus on fear, you can make yourself a nervous wreck. Since you're constantly bombarded with negative news, you can worry about the economy, jobs and the state of the world, wondering what’s going to happen next. Maybe you have forgotten what it means to live within your means and, like so many of us, wrap values around the money-made “show” of your life, instead of the value-driven “flow” of it.
Still, in the midst of all the negativity, you can choose to feel hope. I do.
Many economists think that the economy will turn around by next fall. I hope they’re right. However, it’s in women that I have the most hope. It’s in you and me and the other women in my town – and yours. We are leaders in our families, at work, and in our communities. We all have a wonderful opportunity to learn (or maybe relearn) lessons about what we value that has nothing to do with money, and everything to do with meaningful living – or as pastor Rick Warren would describe – a purpose-driven life.
As you think about your life and the future this Christmas Day 2008, and your hopes and fears, what are some of the values you would like to focus on throughout this holiday season and into 2009? Will you refocus your behaviors to be more in line with integrity and honesty? Will your spending habits reflect good sense instead of instant gratification? What about practicing perseverance instead of giving up and focused living instead scattered and imbalanced lifestyles?
What values will be shaping your life over the next year or so? How about sharing them with other readers - you'll never know who you'll be helping!
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Thanksgiving 2008
Even though it's Thanksgiving, there seems to be nearly no way to avoid the doom and gloom news about how bad the economy. If you are one of those who is stressed out and worrying yourself sleepless because of money matters, here's a suggestion for a first-step toward financial peace and personal empowerment: PRACTICE GRATITUDE DAILY.
Don't roll your eyes...there is actual research that shows that those who practice gratitude aren't merely happier - though, frankly, wouldn't that be enough of a reason? In fact, research shows the attitude of gratitude also makes you healthier, more social, AND less dependent on material things to satisfy your needs and desires. In a tough economy, happiness helps you to adjust to change, sociability enables you to still have fun without spending tons of bucks, and less dependence on material things guides your spending and keeps you sane.
If you aren't already seeing your family, friends, job, house, etc. with a grateful eye, Thanksgiving is the perfect day to start. In everything you do today, think about what's good about it. Think about little things, like how good your bed feels and what a beautiful day it is. Then make a list of everyone you love and, thinking about every person you love, find one good thing about them for which you are thankful.
As you go through your day, refuse to focus on the imperfection and instead, find something good about it. If you don't like turkey, think about how good the desserts are. If you have a miserable relative who always makes trouble at dinner, be grateful that you'll go home without him or her.
If it seems hard, make a game of it with yourself and the people around you. Challenge each other to find good in whatever is going on around you. Make it serious...not joking about it.
Life isn't perfect, so stop looking for it to be that way. Look instead for what's good about your life, and be grateful. Consistently practicing gratitude will set you on a healtier path toward victory.
Personally, I am so grateful that I live in God's abundant universe and that my life is filled with wonderful people. That includes you!
Happy Thanksgiving!
Don't roll your eyes...there is actual research that shows that those who practice gratitude aren't merely happier - though, frankly, wouldn't that be enough of a reason? In fact, research shows the attitude of gratitude also makes you healthier, more social, AND less dependent on material things to satisfy your needs and desires. In a tough economy, happiness helps you to adjust to change, sociability enables you to still have fun without spending tons of bucks, and less dependence on material things guides your spending and keeps you sane.
If you aren't already seeing your family, friends, job, house, etc. with a grateful eye, Thanksgiving is the perfect day to start. In everything you do today, think about what's good about it. Think about little things, like how good your bed feels and what a beautiful day it is. Then make a list of everyone you love and, thinking about every person you love, find one good thing about them for which you are thankful.
As you go through your day, refuse to focus on the imperfection and instead, find something good about it. If you don't like turkey, think about how good the desserts are. If you have a miserable relative who always makes trouble at dinner, be grateful that you'll go home without him or her.
If it seems hard, make a game of it with yourself and the people around you. Challenge each other to find good in whatever is going on around you. Make it serious...not joking about it.
Life isn't perfect, so stop looking for it to be that way. Look instead for what's good about your life, and be grateful. Consistently practicing gratitude will set you on a healtier path toward victory.
Personally, I am so grateful that I live in God's abundant universe and that my life is filled with wonderful people. That includes you!
Happy Thanksgiving!
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Today’s Economy: Thriver Tips for Women
Economists, financial commentators and even Oprah and Suze Orman have been warning us for years that a crisis was coming and our personal finances would be hit pretty hard. Now it’s here. The economy is who-knows-where, your 401K is a joke and the stock market’s ups and downs are making you feel queasier than riding a roller coaster. Whether you’re watching CNN, MSNBC, or your local news, all you hear at every turn is FEAR, FEAR, FEAR. You’re scared about what’s going to happen next and that this crisis could last for years. You know you set the tone in your life and in your household, what do you do?
The good news is that we’re all in this together, so as we make changes in our lifestyles, we won’t be alone. BUT, we each have to take responsibility for our own finances. That means YOU have to take action. Where do you start? What ideas do you have for dealing with this economy?
Send your tips to me, at info@victoriouswoman.com, and I'll send you my article, The Victorious Woman's Guide to Thriving, with SIX STEPS you can take to thrive inspite of today's current economic woes - starting today,
The good news is that we’re all in this together, so as we make changes in our lifestyles, we won’t be alone. BUT, we each have to take responsibility for our own finances. That means YOU have to take action. Where do you start? What ideas do you have for dealing with this economy?
Send your tips to me, at info@victoriouswoman.com, and I'll send you my article, The Victorious Woman's Guide to Thriving, with SIX STEPS you can take to thrive inspite of today's current economic woes - starting today,
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Edwards and Hunter - What's Wrong?
So it’s happened again. Another ego-driven politician in a sex scandal swearing it isn’t true until (surprise!) there’s proof. Nothing new, just change the names and faces to Clinton, Morris, or any of the amazingly long list, and it’s the same story.
There is no justification for what Edwards did – and he agrees. And who knows if this is the first time…or just the first time Edwards got caught.
And what about Rielle Hunter?
She’s an over-forty woman who is old enough to know better. She knew John Edwards was married with children – including a couple young ones – and knew he was in all the media, including on Oprah, talking about his politics and fluffing about his relationship with his spouse. Then, and now, she knows Elizabeth Edwards is suffering from an incurable cancer. So why did she go after him?? Or, maybe Edwards pursued her. If that's the case, why did she go along with it?
Yes, I know. Stuff happens. I live in the real world. I was single for a long time and had plenty of chances to have affairs with married men. And there was even a time or two when, during a lonely or particularly difficult time, I considered it. I didn’t do it because it was wrong. Though it seems in our society as though we’ve gotten away from making judgments about what is right and what is wrong, that doesn’t change the facts.
In Hunter’s case, she’s brought a child into the world in scandal – married man, maybe more than one man could be the father. That sordid story will haunt that innocent baby throughout her whole life. Even after the tabloids die down, even fifty years from now, there will always be a rumor or a whisper about her mother’s disgraceful digression and her father’s true identity.
What’s the solution? There isn’t one.
So what's in all they hype for you? There is something you can learn from Hunter and Edwards.
YOU CAN CHOOSE a code of conduct that lifts you up instead of dragging you (and your loved ones) down. You can choose to put certain behaviors on the DO NOT list. It’s like people who quit smoking. They know they can't have a cigarette. I know. When I stopped, I decided that I would never pick up a cigarette and smoke it. I know, even now, if I pick up a cigarette today, I’d be back to a pack-a-day by tomorrow. So I just don’t do it.
Think of the people on a diet or who have a food allergy. They cut out a food, like peanuts or fried foods. Whether they want them or not, those items just can’t be on their menu. They can look at the peanuts or fries, and maybe yearn for them, but they just don’t have ‘em.
Here are my suggestions for a couple “off my list” dating decisions:
• You will make decisions that protect you now and in the future;
• you won’t have sex unless your man is using a condom – no exceptions;
• you won’t date men with bad tempers or possessive behaviors
• you will break up with a guy as soon as he demonstrates the bad behaviors on your “no” list;
• you won’t knowingly date a married man;
• and, if the guy lied and really is married, you will dump him, no matter how much you think you love him. You’ll do it because you deserve better!
In the end, whatever happens, you will experience the law of cause and effect. When you make the cause – that is, your behavior – strong with healthy decisions and actions, your effect is bound to be good. Yes, stuff happens, but even when it happens to you, you are always in control of how you respond.
Choose to be the BEST of who you are…and don’t let anyone or anything take you off your BEST LIFE course.
In victory,
Annmarie
There is no justification for what Edwards did – and he agrees. And who knows if this is the first time…or just the first time Edwards got caught.
And what about Rielle Hunter?
She’s an over-forty woman who is old enough to know better. She knew John Edwards was married with children – including a couple young ones – and knew he was in all the media, including on Oprah, talking about his politics and fluffing about his relationship with his spouse. Then, and now, she knows Elizabeth Edwards is suffering from an incurable cancer. So why did she go after him?? Or, maybe Edwards pursued her. If that's the case, why did she go along with it?
Yes, I know. Stuff happens. I live in the real world. I was single for a long time and had plenty of chances to have affairs with married men. And there was even a time or two when, during a lonely or particularly difficult time, I considered it. I didn’t do it because it was wrong. Though it seems in our society as though we’ve gotten away from making judgments about what is right and what is wrong, that doesn’t change the facts.
In Hunter’s case, she’s brought a child into the world in scandal – married man, maybe more than one man could be the father. That sordid story will haunt that innocent baby throughout her whole life. Even after the tabloids die down, even fifty years from now, there will always be a rumor or a whisper about her mother’s disgraceful digression and her father’s true identity.
What’s the solution? There isn’t one.
So what's in all they hype for you? There is something you can learn from Hunter and Edwards.
YOU CAN CHOOSE a code of conduct that lifts you up instead of dragging you (and your loved ones) down. You can choose to put certain behaviors on the DO NOT list. It’s like people who quit smoking. They know they can't have a cigarette. I know. When I stopped, I decided that I would never pick up a cigarette and smoke it. I know, even now, if I pick up a cigarette today, I’d be back to a pack-a-day by tomorrow. So I just don’t do it.
Think of the people on a diet or who have a food allergy. They cut out a food, like peanuts or fried foods. Whether they want them or not, those items just can’t be on their menu. They can look at the peanuts or fries, and maybe yearn for them, but they just don’t have ‘em.
Here are my suggestions for a couple “off my list” dating decisions:
• You will make decisions that protect you now and in the future;
• you won’t have sex unless your man is using a condom – no exceptions;
• you won’t date men with bad tempers or possessive behaviors
• you will break up with a guy as soon as he demonstrates the bad behaviors on your “no” list;
• you won’t knowingly date a married man;
• and, if the guy lied and really is married, you will dump him, no matter how much you think you love him. You’ll do it because you deserve better!
In the end, whatever happens, you will experience the law of cause and effect. When you make the cause – that is, your behavior – strong with healthy decisions and actions, your effect is bound to be good. Yes, stuff happens, but even when it happens to you, you are always in control of how you respond.
Choose to be the BEST of who you are…and don’t let anyone or anything take you off your BEST LIFE course.
In victory,
Annmarie
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