Wherever I go, it seems women are talking about how they don't feel anyone appreciates what they do for their families, their work, etc. Most moms feel they are there for their families, but when mom needs them to step up and do something for her, everyone seems to get busy.
So, when it comes to Mother's Day, I can't tell you how many women tell me how they put a smile on their face and say thank you for what their children give them - knowing that tomorrow they'll go back to being the invisible family member.
Here's a link to the article...let me know how you feel about it: http://tinyurl.com/whatmomwants
Showing posts with label In Today's News. Show all posts
Showing posts with label In Today's News. Show all posts
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Susan Boyle - More than Britain's Talent
If you didn’t see and hear Susan Boyle on Britain’s Got Talent, check her out on YouTube.
Susan Boyle is a 47-year-old woman who says she’s never been kissed, in fact, she said she’s never even had a date. She still lives in the house in which she grew up and cared for her parents. Before dying, Susan’s mother told Susan to make something of herself. When Simon Cowell asked her why she hadn’t been successful with a singing career until now, Susan said she’d never been given the chance. She hoped the reality show would be her opportunity.
Can you imagine how Susan Boyle felt? Don’t you wonder how she had the guts to get on that stage? Then, after subtle mocking from not only Simon but the whole audience, don't you wonder how she still kept it together enough to sing...magnificently?
Susan Boyle did five things that opened the door for her: She believed in honoring her commitments, she honed her skill, never gave up, didn’t let her age stop her, and she showed up.
“So what?” you say, "What’s that mean to me?"
Maybe everything. Like Susan Boyle, you don't know where life is going to take you. If life hasn’t turned out the way you wanted, you don't pack it in. Instead, you do what Boyle did, you keep doing your best so that when opportunity comes your way, you're ready. Following Boyle's lead, here's how:
- Make a commitment to yourself and be serious about honoring it. It might also help if you commit to someone else, as in an accountability partner
- Keep practicing what you do best. Maybe it’s not singing in the choir. Maybe your talent is organization and the only practice you get is organizing and managing the volunteers at your child’s school. Keep doing it. Recently, I met a woman whose talent is sewing. One day she made a handbag that got so many compliments, she began making and selling them. In one year, her hobby has grown into a business and a nice income.
- NEVER give up. A dream deferred isn’t a dream denied.
- Too old? Nonsense! Sometimes opportunities come your way with the confidence of experience.
- SHOW UP – if you are always turning your back on an opportunity or saying “no, not now”, nothing will ever happen. You have to show up in your life by saying ‘yes’ to opportunities.
No matter where you are in your life, don’t go quietly into some obscure quiet life. Follow the Victorious Woman Model, just as Susan Boyle did, and LIVE OUT LOUD, IN LIVING COLOR.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Caroline Kennedy and Karyn Greenstreet: The Million Dollar Difference
“I’m short, fat and have red hair.”
That’s how Karyn Greenstreet told me I’d recognize her. I laughed when she said it; her self-deprecating humor tickled me. A few days later, when meeting the well-known speaker and business coach at a conference, in a crowded hotel lobby, I recognized her instantly, and liked her immediately. Everything about Karyn was congruent and seemed to add to her confidence, which in turn, added to her credibility. By day’s end, everyone who attended her sessions felt the same way.
Congruency is something I think too few of us understand when it comes to success and our careers. According to the research, people make up their minds about us within the first second or two of meeting us. If we aren’t crystal clear about who we are and what we’re doing, it comes across. When we aren’t congruent, it’s almost like putting an invisible question mark over our name and image. Then, no matter how good we are in our entrepreneurial or corporate ventures, the cloud of uncertainty sticks in the minds of those we meet; unfortunately, it negatively impacts our career – and usually we can never figure out why.
It’s like Caroline Kennedy Schlossberg. For all the political power of the Kennedy machine, most people thought that Caroline Kennedy either didn’t really want the job or wasn’t qualified for it. It didn’t matter that her press statements insisted that she believed she would make a good senator for New York. When it came to her interviews, her incongruence was painfully obvious. Even worse, it was in stark contrast to the strong messages she conveyed during appearances in support of then-candidate Barack Obama. Unfortunately, when it came to her own prospects for Congress, Ms. Schlossberg never really seemed to embrace the idea of political life. In the end, she withdrew her name from consideration.
Do you think you are more like Karyn Greenstreet or Caroline Kennedy Schlossberg? How congruent are you? Does everything match? Do your attitudes and words match your look and behaviors?
If you aren’t getting where you want to go, maybe you need to look inside as well as outside, and ask yourself if the messages you are sending out to the public line up with what’s going on in your head and heart. Maybe there conflicts going on that you might not be aware of, but which others can clearly see.
If you don’t feel your passion for a business or a topic, others will feel it. If you are touting talking points you don’t fully embrace, others will know. If your work doesn’t match your values, it will show.
Which brings me back to Karyn Greenstreet…
Karyn’s passion is small business. Earlier this month she spoke for my National Speakers Association Mid-Atlantic chapter’s annual conference. She spoke about Search Engine Optimization (SEO) for small businesses. She delivered two great presentations and wowed our attendees with her knowledge and generosity in sharing information. Her coaching business is thriving and I believe it isn’t only because she’s knows her stuff. She does, of course, but also, she’s totally jazzed about what she does. She’s authentic from the inside out – and so self-accepting that she makes short, fat and red hair a plus for her image. People see her, feel how real she is, and believe she’s got what they need.
Check out Karyn’s website at www.passionforbusiness.com
That’s how Karyn Greenstreet told me I’d recognize her. I laughed when she said it; her self-deprecating humor tickled me. A few days later, when meeting the well-known speaker and business coach at a conference, in a crowded hotel lobby, I recognized her instantly, and liked her immediately. Everything about Karyn was congruent and seemed to add to her confidence, which in turn, added to her credibility. By day’s end, everyone who attended her sessions felt the same way.
Congruency is something I think too few of us understand when it comes to success and our careers. According to the research, people make up their minds about us within the first second or two of meeting us. If we aren’t crystal clear about who we are and what we’re doing, it comes across. When we aren’t congruent, it’s almost like putting an invisible question mark over our name and image. Then, no matter how good we are in our entrepreneurial or corporate ventures, the cloud of uncertainty sticks in the minds of those we meet; unfortunately, it negatively impacts our career – and usually we can never figure out why.
It’s like Caroline Kennedy Schlossberg. For all the political power of the Kennedy machine, most people thought that Caroline Kennedy either didn’t really want the job or wasn’t qualified for it. It didn’t matter that her press statements insisted that she believed she would make a good senator for New York. When it came to her interviews, her incongruence was painfully obvious. Even worse, it was in stark contrast to the strong messages she conveyed during appearances in support of then-candidate Barack Obama. Unfortunately, when it came to her own prospects for Congress, Ms. Schlossberg never really seemed to embrace the idea of political life. In the end, she withdrew her name from consideration.
Do you think you are more like Karyn Greenstreet or Caroline Kennedy Schlossberg? How congruent are you? Does everything match? Do your attitudes and words match your look and behaviors?
If you aren’t getting where you want to go, maybe you need to look inside as well as outside, and ask yourself if the messages you are sending out to the public line up with what’s going on in your head and heart. Maybe there conflicts going on that you might not be aware of, but which others can clearly see.
If you don’t feel your passion for a business or a topic, others will feel it. If you are touting talking points you don’t fully embrace, others will know. If your work doesn’t match your values, it will show.
Which brings me back to Karyn Greenstreet…
Karyn’s passion is small business. Earlier this month she spoke for my National Speakers Association Mid-Atlantic chapter’s annual conference. She spoke about Search Engine Optimization (SEO) for small businesses. She delivered two great presentations and wowed our attendees with her knowledge and generosity in sharing information. Her coaching business is thriving and I believe it isn’t only because she’s knows her stuff. She does, of course, but also, she’s totally jazzed about what she does. She’s authentic from the inside out – and so self-accepting that she makes short, fat and red hair a plus for her image. People see her, feel how real she is, and believe she’s got what they need.
Check out Karyn’s website at www.passionforbusiness.com
Friday, December 26, 2008
Washington Crossed the Delaware on Christmas - and So Did I!
It was freezing that day in 1776. General George Washington and his troops crossed from Pennsylvania into New Jersey during the American Revolutionary War. Washington devised the battle plan in an effort the keep British troops at bay. The strategy required his troops to cross the half-frozen river on a bitter cold Christmas day. It was a daring move, and it could have been a disaster, but it wasn't.
Every year, the famous crossing is reenacted. This year I was part of it. I didn't cross the river by boat (no one did - the waters were wild and dangerous), but I did walk across the Delaware on a wooden foot bridge. Bridges are a challenge for me, and when the opportunity appeared, I thought twice about going. But, using the steel handrail to steady myself, I took the 30-40 minute walk to New Jersey and back. It wasn't too cold and I dressed warmly, but the swirling waters beneath me made me a little dizzy...and I second-guessed my decision.
When I got back on solid ground, I was glad. I think it's good for me to move out of my comfort zone and challenge myself - and I think it's good for you too. I have some "getting started" ideas in my current newsletter. You can get the current issue by clicking on this post's title.
Hope and That Little Town of Bethlehem
“O Little Town of Bethlehem” - you probably sang it this season, or at least heard it. Did you know the words were written in 1868, by a minister from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania? Isn't it amazing how timeless the sentiment is – “the hopes and fears of all the years” - fitting both a post-Civil War economy and a current-day recession. They are both part of our human experience.
Yet, if you focus on fear, you can make yourself a nervous wreck. Since you're constantly bombarded with negative news, you can worry about the economy, jobs and the state of the world, wondering what’s going to happen next. Maybe you have forgotten what it means to live within your means and, like so many of us, wrap values around the money-made “show” of your life, instead of the value-driven “flow” of it.
Still, in the midst of all the negativity, you can choose to feel hope. I do.
Many economists think that the economy will turn around by next fall. I hope they’re right. However, it’s in women that I have the most hope. It’s in you and me and the other women in my town – and yours. We are leaders in our families, at work, and in our communities. We all have a wonderful opportunity to learn (or maybe relearn) lessons about what we value that has nothing to do with money, and everything to do with meaningful living – or as pastor Rick Warren would describe – a purpose-driven life.
As you think about your life and the future this Christmas Day 2008, and your hopes and fears, what are some of the values you would like to focus on throughout this holiday season and into 2009? Will you refocus your behaviors to be more in line with integrity and honesty? Will your spending habits reflect good sense instead of instant gratification? What about practicing perseverance instead of giving up and focused living instead scattered and imbalanced lifestyles?
What values will be shaping your life over the next year or so? How about sharing them with other readers - you'll never know who you'll be helping!
Yet, if you focus on fear, you can make yourself a nervous wreck. Since you're constantly bombarded with negative news, you can worry about the economy, jobs and the state of the world, wondering what’s going to happen next. Maybe you have forgotten what it means to live within your means and, like so many of us, wrap values around the money-made “show” of your life, instead of the value-driven “flow” of it.
Still, in the midst of all the negativity, you can choose to feel hope. I do.
Many economists think that the economy will turn around by next fall. I hope they’re right. However, it’s in women that I have the most hope. It’s in you and me and the other women in my town – and yours. We are leaders in our families, at work, and in our communities. We all have a wonderful opportunity to learn (or maybe relearn) lessons about what we value that has nothing to do with money, and everything to do with meaningful living – or as pastor Rick Warren would describe – a purpose-driven life.
As you think about your life and the future this Christmas Day 2008, and your hopes and fears, what are some of the values you would like to focus on throughout this holiday season and into 2009? Will you refocus your behaviors to be more in line with integrity and honesty? Will your spending habits reflect good sense instead of instant gratification? What about practicing perseverance instead of giving up and focused living instead scattered and imbalanced lifestyles?
What values will be shaping your life over the next year or so? How about sharing them with other readers - you'll never know who you'll be helping!
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Thanksgiving 2008
Even though it's Thanksgiving, there seems to be nearly no way to avoid the doom and gloom news about how bad the economy. If you are one of those who is stressed out and worrying yourself sleepless because of money matters, here's a suggestion for a first-step toward financial peace and personal empowerment: PRACTICE GRATITUDE DAILY.
Don't roll your eyes...there is actual research that shows that those who practice gratitude aren't merely happier - though, frankly, wouldn't that be enough of a reason? In fact, research shows the attitude of gratitude also makes you healthier, more social, AND less dependent on material things to satisfy your needs and desires. In a tough economy, happiness helps you to adjust to change, sociability enables you to still have fun without spending tons of bucks, and less dependence on material things guides your spending and keeps you sane.
If you aren't already seeing your family, friends, job, house, etc. with a grateful eye, Thanksgiving is the perfect day to start. In everything you do today, think about what's good about it. Think about little things, like how good your bed feels and what a beautiful day it is. Then make a list of everyone you love and, thinking about every person you love, find one good thing about them for which you are thankful.
As you go through your day, refuse to focus on the imperfection and instead, find something good about it. If you don't like turkey, think about how good the desserts are. If you have a miserable relative who always makes trouble at dinner, be grateful that you'll go home without him or her.
If it seems hard, make a game of it with yourself and the people around you. Challenge each other to find good in whatever is going on around you. Make it serious...not joking about it.
Life isn't perfect, so stop looking for it to be that way. Look instead for what's good about your life, and be grateful. Consistently practicing gratitude will set you on a healtier path toward victory.
Personally, I am so grateful that I live in God's abundant universe and that my life is filled with wonderful people. That includes you!
Happy Thanksgiving!
Don't roll your eyes...there is actual research that shows that those who practice gratitude aren't merely happier - though, frankly, wouldn't that be enough of a reason? In fact, research shows the attitude of gratitude also makes you healthier, more social, AND less dependent on material things to satisfy your needs and desires. In a tough economy, happiness helps you to adjust to change, sociability enables you to still have fun without spending tons of bucks, and less dependence on material things guides your spending and keeps you sane.
If you aren't already seeing your family, friends, job, house, etc. with a grateful eye, Thanksgiving is the perfect day to start. In everything you do today, think about what's good about it. Think about little things, like how good your bed feels and what a beautiful day it is. Then make a list of everyone you love and, thinking about every person you love, find one good thing about them for which you are thankful.
As you go through your day, refuse to focus on the imperfection and instead, find something good about it. If you don't like turkey, think about how good the desserts are. If you have a miserable relative who always makes trouble at dinner, be grateful that you'll go home without him or her.
If it seems hard, make a game of it with yourself and the people around you. Challenge each other to find good in whatever is going on around you. Make it serious...not joking about it.
Life isn't perfect, so stop looking for it to be that way. Look instead for what's good about your life, and be grateful. Consistently practicing gratitude will set you on a healtier path toward victory.
Personally, I am so grateful that I live in God's abundant universe and that my life is filled with wonderful people. That includes you!
Happy Thanksgiving!
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
Today’s Economy: Thriver Tips for Women
Economists, financial commentators and even Oprah and Suze Orman have been warning us for years that a crisis was coming and our personal finances would be hit pretty hard. Now it’s here. The economy is who-knows-where, your 401K is a joke and the stock market’s ups and downs are making you feel queasier than riding a roller coaster. Whether you’re watching CNN, MSNBC, or your local news, all you hear at every turn is FEAR, FEAR, FEAR. You’re scared about what’s going to happen next and that this crisis could last for years. You know you set the tone in your life and in your household, what do you do?
The good news is that we’re all in this together, so as we make changes in our lifestyles, we won’t be alone. BUT, we each have to take responsibility for our own finances. That means YOU have to take action. Where do you start? What ideas do you have for dealing with this economy?
Send your tips to me, at info@victoriouswoman.com, and I'll send you my article, The Victorious Woman's Guide to Thriving, with SIX STEPS you can take to thrive inspite of today's current economic woes - starting today,
The good news is that we’re all in this together, so as we make changes in our lifestyles, we won’t be alone. BUT, we each have to take responsibility for our own finances. That means YOU have to take action. Where do you start? What ideas do you have for dealing with this economy?
Send your tips to me, at info@victoriouswoman.com, and I'll send you my article, The Victorious Woman's Guide to Thriving, with SIX STEPS you can take to thrive inspite of today's current economic woes - starting today,
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Pennsylvania Votes!
I live in the red hot voting suburbs of Chester County, in "battleground" Pennsylvania. I'm a regular voter and usually walk in and out. This morning, however, I waited in the longest voting line of my lifetime. On my way out, the line had doubled. It seems that, this election, everyone wants to be heard.
Poll workers made the wait tolerable. They had donuts, coffee and even freshly baked chocolate chip cookies. I spent the time reading a book I brought and chatting with neighbors I hadn't seen since the summer. My greatest stress was wondering how long my bladder would hold out. It did...just barely.
While I waited, I couldn't help but think that, no matter who wins, this is exciting. It's what our wonderful democracy is about, that is, being a population caring enough to make our vote heard. It's what “let freedom rings” means. Those aren't just words, it’s us we’re talking about – we’re freedom and our vote is our right to be heard, our freedom ringing. Not everyone around the world can do that, and it's what makes today so important, in so many ways.
When we vote, it’s one of the ways we express our approval or disapproval of the current system. And, it isn’t just about voting for a president once every four years. We have the priviledge of choosing our legislative representatives too, and we do that more often.
As a victorious woman, you know you have to stay on top of the events that affect your life. Yet too many of us don't know common civics. So, just in case you don’t already know, here are a few freedom-ringer basics:
As the weeks go on, and the new president takes office and congress starts a new term, make a point to listen and read and evaluate the facts. Be wary of journalists, commentators and pundits. In the past, they prided themselves on keeping their politics private, but most of them no longer do. Just as the porkbarrel spending has increased, journalistic integrity has decreased. Instead, trust yourself and pay attention to the facts. When you know what’s going on, you – and we - can make our voices heard. WE can be loud enough to overshadow the lobbyists, and WE can hold our politicians to a standard that includes serving our best interests...not theirs.
It's our civic right...and responsibility. Let freedom ring!
Poll workers made the wait tolerable. They had donuts, coffee and even freshly baked chocolate chip cookies. I spent the time reading a book I brought and chatting with neighbors I hadn't seen since the summer. My greatest stress was wondering how long my bladder would hold out. It did...just barely.
While I waited, I couldn't help but think that, no matter who wins, this is exciting. It's what our wonderful democracy is about, that is, being a population caring enough to make our vote heard. It's what “let freedom rings” means. Those aren't just words, it’s us we’re talking about – we’re freedom and our vote is our right to be heard, our freedom ringing. Not everyone around the world can do that, and it's what makes today so important, in so many ways.
When we vote, it’s one of the ways we express our approval or disapproval of the current system. And, it isn’t just about voting for a president once every four years. We have the priviledge of choosing our legislative representatives too, and we do that more often.
As a victorious woman, you know you have to stay on top of the events that affect your life. Yet too many of us don't know common civics. So, just in case you don’t already know, here are a few freedom-ringer basics:
- There are three branches of our government at the national and state levels: executive, judicial and legislative.
- We have two kinds of elections: general elections and primary elections.
- The people who run in the general elections, held in November, are picked in the primary elections, usually held in the spring; we vote for them based on our party affiliation.
- The President and his crew (the Cabinet) are the Executive Branch of government.
- The Supreme Court is the Judicial Branch. Their job is to interpret the laws that Congress makes, based on our constitution. When a judge retires or dies, the president chooses a new judge to fill his/her place. If the president is a conservative (like Reagan or Bush), s/he is likely to add conservative judges while a liberal president, like Clinton, will probably add more liberal judges.
- Our Senators and Representatives make up the Legislative Branch. They write the bills and make the laws that shape our way of life. Unfortunately, especially in recent years, they are also the ones who have added millions and millions of dollars worth of “junk” spending - usually to pay back the special interest groups who ply the legislature with special perks. No party is clean when it comes to porkbarrel spending...they are all equally guilty of spending our money on their special interests.
- To understand the legislative process, go to YouTube and watch the three minute cartoon, “Schoolhouse Rock – How a Bill Becomes A Law".
- You can find out how your senators and representative vote on many websites, like govtrack.us, votesmart.org, politico.org, thomas.loc.gov. You can find out what bills are voted on, which legislator voted and how, what kind of pork was included, and even find out who’s lobbying your politicians for votes for their special interests.
As the weeks go on, and the new president takes office and congress starts a new term, make a point to listen and read and evaluate the facts. Be wary of journalists, commentators and pundits. In the past, they prided themselves on keeping their politics private, but most of them no longer do. Just as the porkbarrel spending has increased, journalistic integrity has decreased. Instead, trust yourself and pay attention to the facts. When you know what’s going on, you – and we - can make our voices heard. WE can be loud enough to overshadow the lobbyists, and WE can hold our politicians to a standard that includes serving our best interests...not theirs.
It's our civic right...and responsibility. Let freedom ring!
Friday, September 12, 2008
Gibson Too Tough on Palin?
So, women, what did you think of Sarah Palin's first interview? Today's buzz is all about whether Charlie Gibson was too tough on her or not. What do the pundits think we're supposed to be, whiny marshmallow chicks who can't hold our own in high positions?
Here's my Victorious Woman perspective - NO!
Sarah Palin is running for the second highest office in the US. Most of us know little about her and want to know who she is. Journalists should ask tough questions, to Palin...and all the candidates. You can't run for the highest offices and expect a pass because of gender...or race.
And therein lies the problem, as I see it. Barack Obama wasn't vetted much more than Palin before he stepped onto the national stage. When people wanted to know more, the press (who we should be able to trust to be unbiased) went crazy. Media coverage became so obviously Obama-d that (1) the Campbell Brown-hosted debate was parodied on Saturday Night Live (check YouTube) and even (2) the Democratic Governor of Pennsylvania, Ed Rendell, said the Obama coverage was "embarrassing" and that "certain media outlets were openly partisan, had really bought into Barack Obama as a savior."
Clearly, a real journalist who is doing her/his job, should be asking questions that show us a candidate's character. We all know their canned party line - no matter which party they are. It's the hard questions that show us who the candidate really is.
To all of you who embrace the Victorious Woman in you, and who want the best for all of us, here's my advice for the next two months:
1. Learn everything you can about the candidates. Look at their records. How have they voted and what have they done? Get online and get facts - not some writer's or commentator's opinion. Even if you surf around the political net for just 10-15 minutes a day, you can learn some interesting facts, instead of getting stuck with some cherry-picked soundbites in an ad.
2. Look for the candidate's congruence? In other words, do their current behaviors and history match their past ones?
3. When you hear a candidate speak, listen for their attitudes and beliefs. Find the person behind the words. Why? Because, when elected, that's who you'll see in the White House. When the president and vice-president are in office, they are under extreme stress. When you and I are under stress, we revert to our core values and character. So do they...and that's what you want to watch for in this election.
4. Be wary of preferential treatment, whether it's NBC, ABC, CNN, PBS, FOX, NY Times, Huffington Post, Bill O'Reilly...anyplace. If a journalist only gives a candidate softballs, we simply get to know a bunch of words. We don't get to know them.
To my American readers, when you vote in November - and voting is your sacred right - make sure you are voting for the candidate who most aligns with your values and vision.
In victory,
Annmarie
Here's my Victorious Woman perspective - NO!
Sarah Palin is running for the second highest office in the US. Most of us know little about her and want to know who she is. Journalists should ask tough questions, to Palin...and all the candidates. You can't run for the highest offices and expect a pass because of gender...or race.
And therein lies the problem, as I see it. Barack Obama wasn't vetted much more than Palin before he stepped onto the national stage. When people wanted to know more, the press (who we should be able to trust to be unbiased) went crazy. Media coverage became so obviously Obama-d that (1) the Campbell Brown-hosted debate was parodied on Saturday Night Live (check YouTube) and even (2) the Democratic Governor of Pennsylvania, Ed Rendell, said the Obama coverage was "embarrassing" and that "certain media outlets were openly partisan, had really bought into Barack Obama as a savior."
Clearly, a real journalist who is doing her/his job, should be asking questions that show us a candidate's character. We all know their canned party line - no matter which party they are. It's the hard questions that show us who the candidate really is.
To all of you who embrace the Victorious Woman in you, and who want the best for all of us, here's my advice for the next two months:
1. Learn everything you can about the candidates. Look at their records. How have they voted and what have they done? Get online and get facts - not some writer's or commentator's opinion. Even if you surf around the political net for just 10-15 minutes a day, you can learn some interesting facts, instead of getting stuck with some cherry-picked soundbites in an ad.
2. Look for the candidate's congruence? In other words, do their current behaviors and history match their past ones?
3. When you hear a candidate speak, listen for their attitudes and beliefs. Find the person behind the words. Why? Because, when elected, that's who you'll see in the White House. When the president and vice-president are in office, they are under extreme stress. When you and I are under stress, we revert to our core values and character. So do they...and that's what you want to watch for in this election.
4. Be wary of preferential treatment, whether it's NBC, ABC, CNN, PBS, FOX, NY Times, Huffington Post, Bill O'Reilly...anyplace. If a journalist only gives a candidate softballs, we simply get to know a bunch of words. We don't get to know them.
To my American readers, when you vote in November - and voting is your sacred right - make sure you are voting for the candidate who most aligns with your values and vision.
In victory,
Annmarie
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Torres’ Model: Dust Off Those Dreams!
Last weekend, 41-year-old mother Dara Torres earned a spot in the upcoming Olympics. Torres is 26 years older than Elizabeth Beisel, the youngest Olympian on this year’s team. But Torres isn’t just looking for a middle-aged adventure. “I can't lie and say, ‘Oh, I'm just glad I'm going.’ I want a medal,” Torres said after her win.
Good for her! Her attitude is inspiring – especially to those of us who aren’t kids anymore. Too often – especially when we are past age thirty-five – we’re expected to be think of ourselves as not as good as when we were younger. We aren’t encouraged to toot our own horn, and are even expected take a back seat to our kids or someone else. When we don’t, we are often belittled. It usually doesn’t happen openly, but instead it’s usually in subtle but palpable ways. We saw many examples of it during the Democratic nominations.
But Torres isn’t letting her age or anything else get in her way. If you watch her carefully, you’ll notice that she is modeling the steps every woman can use to create their own victories. Here are three that she’s demonstrated:
1. Know What You Want
Dara Torres still had the passion to swim and compete. That’s how this current Olympic run started. It was the stuff of her dreams. Now it’s her reality.
Start with what you want and then make a plan to get it.
2. Work with Your Obstacles
Torres, acknowledged that her age could get in the way. Facing it made her understand that she knew she would have to work on speed and flexibility. It gave her an edge when competing against women considerably younger.
When you make a plan, ask yourself, “what will stand in my way.” Face the problems head on, early and quickly. Eliminate or minimize as many as you can. Challenges can be about money or time, and just as often, they are about believing in yourself.
3. Take action.
Do something every day to take you closer to your goal. Whether it’s making a phone call, or writing a paragraph for a business plan or a book, or doing something challenging to boost your confidence, DO IT. “If you just think about what you want to do and make a plan, but you don’t act on it, then you’re just wasting time and energy.”
Next month, while you watch Torres go for the gold, get inspired! Just because you aren't a kid anymore doesn’t mean you can’t have dreams and make your dreams come true. Torres is doing it. You can too. That’s the spirit of victory!
Good for her! Her attitude is inspiring – especially to those of us who aren’t kids anymore. Too often – especially when we are past age thirty-five – we’re expected to be think of ourselves as not as good as when we were younger. We aren’t encouraged to toot our own horn, and are even expected take a back seat to our kids or someone else. When we don’t, we are often belittled. It usually doesn’t happen openly, but instead it’s usually in subtle but palpable ways. We saw many examples of it during the Democratic nominations.
But Torres isn’t letting her age or anything else get in her way. If you watch her carefully, you’ll notice that she is modeling the steps every woman can use to create their own victories. Here are three that she’s demonstrated:
1. Know What You Want
Dara Torres still had the passion to swim and compete. That’s how this current Olympic run started. It was the stuff of her dreams. Now it’s her reality.
Start with what you want and then make a plan to get it.
2. Work with Your Obstacles
Torres, acknowledged that her age could get in the way. Facing it made her understand that she knew she would have to work on speed and flexibility. It gave her an edge when competing against women considerably younger.
When you make a plan, ask yourself, “what will stand in my way.” Face the problems head on, early and quickly. Eliminate or minimize as many as you can. Challenges can be about money or time, and just as often, they are about believing in yourself.
3. Take action.
Do something every day to take you closer to your goal. Whether it’s making a phone call, or writing a paragraph for a business plan or a book, or doing something challenging to boost your confidence, DO IT. “If you just think about what you want to do and make a plan, but you don’t act on it, then you’re just wasting time and energy.”
Next month, while you watch Torres go for the gold, get inspired! Just because you aren't a kid anymore doesn’t mean you can’t have dreams and make your dreams come true. Torres is doing it. You can too. That’s the spirit of victory!
Friday, May 2, 2008
Victorious Woman Month Starts Today!
May is International Victorious Woman Month.
What will you do to celebrate and make this a victorious month? Here are three ways you can “get your victory on” and make this a spectacularly victorious month:
Focus on Victory
Give up those thoughts that you “can’t do it” or “are too young/old” or “don’t have the money.” Instead, think about end results. What do you want? How will it feel when you get it? How will your life be different?
Visualize Victory
Start making pictures of your victory in your mind. Research shows that your mind doesn’t know the difference between real and fake. It outpictures what you visualize. So, if you are picturing yourself failing or just getting by, that’s what you get. This month, pledge to focus only on positive pictures. See yourself overcoming obstacles and making the victory stretch that leads to success. You can even make a Victorious Visioning Book (for instructions: http://www.victoriouswoman.com/Files/Victorious_Visioning.pdf).
Act Victoriously
There is an old adage: “if you always do what you’ve always done, you will always get what you already got.” Do something different and better than you did yesterday. Make a phone call that you’ve been putting off. Take a risk. Find a mentor. Reach out and network with someone who is already at the personal or professional level you want to be.
For more Victorious Woman ideas, click on this blog's title for a free download of the Victorious Woman Calendar’08 with thirty-one daily tips for focusing your life on victory.
Wishing you an amazing Victorious Woman Month!
Annmarie
What will you do to celebrate and make this a victorious month? Here are three ways you can “get your victory on” and make this a spectacularly victorious month:
Focus on Victory
Give up those thoughts that you “can’t do it” or “are too young/old” or “don’t have the money.” Instead, think about end results. What do you want? How will it feel when you get it? How will your life be different?
Visualize Victory
Start making pictures of your victory in your mind. Research shows that your mind doesn’t know the difference between real and fake. It outpictures what you visualize. So, if you are picturing yourself failing or just getting by, that’s what you get. This month, pledge to focus only on positive pictures. See yourself overcoming obstacles and making the victory stretch that leads to success. You can even make a Victorious Visioning Book (for instructions: http://www.victoriouswoman.com/Files/Victorious_Visioning.pdf).
Act Victoriously
There is an old adage: “if you always do what you’ve always done, you will always get what you already got.” Do something different and better than you did yesterday. Make a phone call that you’ve been putting off. Take a risk. Find a mentor. Reach out and network with someone who is already at the personal or professional level you want to be.
For more Victorious Woman ideas, click on this blog's title for a free download of the Victorious Woman Calendar’08 with thirty-one daily tips for focusing your life on victory.
Wishing you an amazing Victorious Woman Month!
Annmarie
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Eliot Spitzer's Biggest Dishonor: In Today's News
It’s happened again. Another political sex scandal. This time it’s Governor Eliot Spitzer of New York.
Here's My Issue: Spitzer did what he did – it was like a covert operation because it took lots of planning and premeditation for the governor to arrange his sexual trysts. During that time, he didn’t consult with or have the support of Mrs. Spitzer while he was doing it. Yet Sptizer’s press conference included Mrs. Spritzer, who stood next to her cheating spouse looking sick and devastated. If he didn't need her then, why NOW does he have to drag her into his disgrace?
We’ve seen so much of this: Bill Clinton, Dick Morris, Jim McGreevey, Larry Craig. The list is long. Their behaviors dissed their mates. Then they were sooooo sorry. But let's be honest. They were sorry because they got caught in the act. Worse yet, while they stood before the press feigning an apology to their families, the women they defiled made Tammy Wynette "stand by your man" appearances with them – as though their spouse also did something to deserve the embarrassment.
To Governor Spitzer and the others: Listen boys (you gave up your man card some time ago), when you are standing before those cameras, it isn't because you lost an election or missed achieving a goal that you and your spouse worked toward together. You got caught with your pants down with someone other than your spouse. When you did the deed, you made a decision to put your life and everything in it at risk. While none of us knows what goes on behind the closed doors of your marriage, chances are that your illegal and/or immoral actions were NOT sanctioned by your spouse. So when you have to face the music with the press, act like the all-powerful man you were pretending to be. This isn’t the time to lean on the one person who you dishonored and humiliated the most by your behaviors.
The Bottom line: You should have thought about your spouse when you were fooling around. If you didn’t need her by your side when you were making arrangements to cheat on her, you don’t need her by your side now. You’ve disgraced her enough by your actions. When you trot her out into the public eye, you are adding to her pain. Why?
To The Spouses: Let the dog clean up his own mess. Just because you love him, doesn’t mean you should forget that, all the while you were loving him and taking care of his home and family, he was getting his kicks with someone else.
My Advice: Here are three things you can do instead:
1 - Get angry! Dig down to your deepest places and let the emotion out. Scream it out, journal it out, break things, whatever you need to do to vent that emotion. Don’t be surprised if you need to do it over and over for days or weeks. Those feelings of ‘how dare he?” and “how could he do that to me?” are really strong, especially when you feel you’ve accommodated him in every way you could.
Repressed anger results in depression, which can result in self-destructive and even life-threatening reactions. Why should that happen to you for some behavior you didn’t initiate?
2 - Seek qualified help. Once you start letting go of some of your initial anger, you need to sort out your feelings. If you have children, they need to do the same. Find a qualified therapist and make weekly appointments – more often if they help. The sooner you start making some sense of your feelings, the sooner you will heal. There’s no reason to let this awful thing result in a health issue that destroys your life.
3 - Do it for yourself. Refuse to let yourself be used again by the cad who just took advantage of you. If he’s having issues and feeling alienated, too bad. He obviously needs therapy and he should get it - alone. You can work on your marriage later. You can agree that in three or six months, if you feel like it, you’ll get couples counseling. Right now, you need to work on you.
Final thoughts: It isn't likely that sex scandals are going to stop. However, in the future, my hope is to see fewer and fewer accomplished women like Dana Matos McGreevey and Silda Wall Spitzer standing by the arrogant, self-serving men who wronged them.
It's interesting for us to consider how, when the shoe is on the other foot, that is, when women are caught in sex scandals - for example, teachers Mary Kay Letourneau and Debra LaFave - you are more likely to see them facing the press or interviewing on the talk shows with their attorney, not their spouse. Interesting, eh? Maybe this is the kind of situation when we could learn a lesson or two from the men.
Here's My Issue: Spitzer did what he did – it was like a covert operation because it took lots of planning and premeditation for the governor to arrange his sexual trysts. During that time, he didn’t consult with or have the support of Mrs. Spitzer while he was doing it. Yet Sptizer’s press conference included Mrs. Spritzer, who stood next to her cheating spouse looking sick and devastated. If he didn't need her then, why NOW does he have to drag her into his disgrace?
We’ve seen so much of this: Bill Clinton, Dick Morris, Jim McGreevey, Larry Craig. The list is long. Their behaviors dissed their mates. Then they were sooooo sorry. But let's be honest. They were sorry because they got caught in the act. Worse yet, while they stood before the press feigning an apology to their families, the women they defiled made Tammy Wynette "stand by your man" appearances with them – as though their spouse also did something to deserve the embarrassment.
To Governor Spitzer and the others: Listen boys (you gave up your man card some time ago), when you are standing before those cameras, it isn't because you lost an election or missed achieving a goal that you and your spouse worked toward together. You got caught with your pants down with someone other than your spouse. When you did the deed, you made a decision to put your life and everything in it at risk. While none of us knows what goes on behind the closed doors of your marriage, chances are that your illegal and/or immoral actions were NOT sanctioned by your spouse. So when you have to face the music with the press, act like the all-powerful man you were pretending to be. This isn’t the time to lean on the one person who you dishonored and humiliated the most by your behaviors.
The Bottom line: You should have thought about your spouse when you were fooling around. If you didn’t need her by your side when you were making arrangements to cheat on her, you don’t need her by your side now. You’ve disgraced her enough by your actions. When you trot her out into the public eye, you are adding to her pain. Why?
To The Spouses: Let the dog clean up his own mess. Just because you love him, doesn’t mean you should forget that, all the while you were loving him and taking care of his home and family, he was getting his kicks with someone else.
My Advice: Here are three things you can do instead:
1 - Get angry! Dig down to your deepest places and let the emotion out. Scream it out, journal it out, break things, whatever you need to do to vent that emotion. Don’t be surprised if you need to do it over and over for days or weeks. Those feelings of ‘how dare he?” and “how could he do that to me?” are really strong, especially when you feel you’ve accommodated him in every way you could.
Repressed anger results in depression, which can result in self-destructive and even life-threatening reactions. Why should that happen to you for some behavior you didn’t initiate?
2 - Seek qualified help. Once you start letting go of some of your initial anger, you need to sort out your feelings. If you have children, they need to do the same. Find a qualified therapist and make weekly appointments – more often if they help. The sooner you start making some sense of your feelings, the sooner you will heal. There’s no reason to let this awful thing result in a health issue that destroys your life.
3 - Do it for yourself. Refuse to let yourself be used again by the cad who just took advantage of you. If he’s having issues and feeling alienated, too bad. He obviously needs therapy and he should get it - alone. You can work on your marriage later. You can agree that in three or six months, if you feel like it, you’ll get couples counseling. Right now, you need to work on you.
Final thoughts: It isn't likely that sex scandals are going to stop. However, in the future, my hope is to see fewer and fewer accomplished women like Dana Matos McGreevey and Silda Wall Spitzer standing by the arrogant, self-serving men who wronged them.
It's interesting for us to consider how, when the shoe is on the other foot, that is, when women are caught in sex scandals - for example, teachers Mary Kay Letourneau and Debra LaFave - you are more likely to see them facing the press or interviewing on the talk shows with their attorney, not their spouse. Interesting, eh? Maybe this is the kind of situation when we could learn a lesson or two from the men.
Monday, February 4, 2008
Black Women and the Election: In Today's News
If I was an African-American woman, I'd be pretty steamed with the news media right now. In fact, I'm not one, but I'm fired up on their behalf!
If you've been following the very tight Democratic primary races, you know that Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama are in a dead heat for their party's nomination. As we approach the "super Tuesday" primaries, nearly every news outlet has made a point to highlight the black woman's quandry of whether to choose her race or her gender as she votes.
Are they kidding??
Don't they think there are any intelligent black women anywhere in this country...or at least in the super Tuesday states? Do they think that black women are that uninformed or ignorant that their only criteria is race or gender??
While it's true that we are likely to vote for those who are most aligned with us, it's also true that we usually like some ideas of one candidate and some of another, and we have to choose. But to denigrate every African-American woman by telling us that their thought process is reduce to whether they will choose the black candidate or the woman? That is just insulting...to every woman.
Readers, make a point this year to prove the media and the political pundits wrong. In this most historical election, get so well-versed in the positions of the candidates that you'll embarranss anyone who wants to dumb you down to the superficial. When you choose the candidate who most closely aligns with your values, speak out on their behalf and give bullet point reasons for why you want them to be your president. Show your smarts to the world...and make them eat their small-minded words!
In victory,
Annmarie
If you've been following the very tight Democratic primary races, you know that Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama are in a dead heat for their party's nomination. As we approach the "super Tuesday" primaries, nearly every news outlet has made a point to highlight the black woman's quandry of whether to choose her race or her gender as she votes.
Are they kidding??
Don't they think there are any intelligent black women anywhere in this country...or at least in the super Tuesday states? Do they think that black women are that uninformed or ignorant that their only criteria is race or gender??
While it's true that we are likely to vote for those who are most aligned with us, it's also true that we usually like some ideas of one candidate and some of another, and we have to choose. But to denigrate every African-American woman by telling us that their thought process is reduce to whether they will choose the black candidate or the woman? That is just insulting...to every woman.
Readers, make a point this year to prove the media and the political pundits wrong. In this most historical election, get so well-versed in the positions of the candidates that you'll embarranss anyone who wants to dumb you down to the superficial. When you choose the candidate who most closely aligns with your values, speak out on their behalf and give bullet point reasons for why you want them to be your president. Show your smarts to the world...and make them eat their small-minded words!
In victory,
Annmarie
Friday, December 28, 2007
Benazir Bhutto: In Today's News
This morning I talked with a woman who didn't know Benazir Bhutto was assassinated. In fact, didn't even know who Bhutto was. It surprised me because the stay-at-home mom is an intelligent woman. After we talked, I realized how many of you, my readers, are like her. You are busily going about your lives and not paying so much attention to politics. So, since I think it's important that you know something about Bhutto and why she is important to you, even in death, I'm telling you a little about her.
Benazir Bhutto grew up in a culture and a religion that doesn't honor women or democracy. When she was young, Bhutto's father told her to study the lives of strong women like Joan of Arc and Indira Gandhi. She did, and learned. She found victory in the way she broke through barriers and rose to prominence as a Muslim woman.
She lived in the United States during the hippy era of the early 1970's. She attended Harvard when she was just sixteen; her nickname was Pinky. She saw the freedom the American people had to protest their government and to voice dissenting opinions without being killed. She fell in love with democracy.
Later she lived in England and attended Oxford. She didn't plan to be in politics. However, her father was prime minister and was Pakistan's most democratized leader. He later founded the Pakistan People's Party (PPP). He was hanged in 1979 and, reportedly, Bhutto's life was never the same.
Over the years, Bhutto became known as a shrewed, flawed, and complicated woman - like many of us. She was a controversial politician, the first woman elected prime minister in the modern Muslim world. She was twice elected and twice driven from office, allegedly for corruption. Until last October, she lived in exile in England where she was raising her three children, products of a 1987 arranged marriage.
Earlier this year, Bhutto decided to return to Pakistan. She was on a mission to save her country. On the day Bhutto returned, she lived through her first assassination attempt. There were others. When the Today Show's Ann Curry interviewed her this past October, she asked Bhutto why she kept putting herself at risk. Bhutto explained that she and her supporters in Pakistan "believe in a cause. We want to save Pakistan and we think we can save it by saving democracy." She also believed, "Terrorists can dictate the agenda...by threatening violence, they can take over nations and destroy the quality of life...I have a choice to keep silent...and to allow the extremists to keep doing what they are doing, or I have a choice to stand up and say 'this is wrong.' I've taken the second choice." When Curry asked her if she regretted her decision, she said "everybody has to die sometime," but she hoped to live long enough to see her children marry and to enjoy her grandchildren. She didn't.
According to terrorism expert Eric Margolis, who was once Bhutto’s security adviser and later her friend said [in a Newsnet interview] that he will remember Bhutto as a woman of great inner strength, intelligence, self-reliance and “a remarkable woman” who “went through some hellish times." That could describe a lot of us, couldn't it?
You see, readers, Benazir Bhutto had her good and bad qualities. So do each of us. Yet, she wanted for herself many of the same mundane things that most of us want. At the same time, she held strong beliefs and did what many of us don't do, she spoke out against those things that she thought were wrong.
My "Bhutto Challenge" to you is to find something that you feel passionate about and speak up. Maybe you hate the way many ads treat women as though they are objects, or maybe you don't like how some friends/relatives/coworkers make you feel used and unappreciated. It can be something global or something personal, but choose to speak about it and change it in your world. When you do, your actions will have a ripple effect that will positively impact others in your life. Appreciate your courage and count your victory. Keep doing it and watch the victories add up.
In victory,
Annmarie
Benazir Bhutto grew up in a culture and a religion that doesn't honor women or democracy. When she was young, Bhutto's father told her to study the lives of strong women like Joan of Arc and Indira Gandhi. She did, and learned. She found victory in the way she broke through barriers and rose to prominence as a Muslim woman.
She lived in the United States during the hippy era of the early 1970's. She attended Harvard when she was just sixteen; her nickname was Pinky. She saw the freedom the American people had to protest their government and to voice dissenting opinions without being killed. She fell in love with democracy.
Later she lived in England and attended Oxford. She didn't plan to be in politics. However, her father was prime minister and was Pakistan's most democratized leader. He later founded the Pakistan People's Party (PPP). He was hanged in 1979 and, reportedly, Bhutto's life was never the same.
Over the years, Bhutto became known as a shrewed, flawed, and complicated woman - like many of us. She was a controversial politician, the first woman elected prime minister in the modern Muslim world. She was twice elected and twice driven from office, allegedly for corruption. Until last October, she lived in exile in England where she was raising her three children, products of a 1987 arranged marriage.
Earlier this year, Bhutto decided to return to Pakistan. She was on a mission to save her country. On the day Bhutto returned, she lived through her first assassination attempt. There were others. When the Today Show's Ann Curry interviewed her this past October, she asked Bhutto why she kept putting herself at risk. Bhutto explained that she and her supporters in Pakistan "believe in a cause. We want to save Pakistan and we think we can save it by saving democracy." She also believed, "Terrorists can dictate the agenda...by threatening violence, they can take over nations and destroy the quality of life...I have a choice to keep silent...and to allow the extremists to keep doing what they are doing, or I have a choice to stand up and say 'this is wrong.' I've taken the second choice." When Curry asked her if she regretted her decision, she said "everybody has to die sometime," but she hoped to live long enough to see her children marry and to enjoy her grandchildren. She didn't.
According to terrorism expert Eric Margolis, who was once Bhutto’s security adviser and later her friend said [in a Newsnet interview] that he will remember Bhutto as a woman of great inner strength, intelligence, self-reliance and “a remarkable woman” who “went through some hellish times." That could describe a lot of us, couldn't it?
You see, readers, Benazir Bhutto had her good and bad qualities. So do each of us. Yet, she wanted for herself many of the same mundane things that most of us want. At the same time, she held strong beliefs and did what many of us don't do, she spoke out against those things that she thought were wrong.
My "Bhutto Challenge" to you is to find something that you feel passionate about and speak up. Maybe you hate the way many ads treat women as though they are objects, or maybe you don't like how some friends/relatives/coworkers make you feel used and unappreciated. It can be something global or something personal, but choose to speak about it and change it in your world. When you do, your actions will have a ripple effect that will positively impact others in your life. Appreciate your courage and count your victory. Keep doing it and watch the victories add up.
In victory,
Annmarie
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
