Valentines' Day: What Do You Really Want?

Hallmark, Gibson and the other greeting card companies tells us to buy expensive cards. Godiva and FTD tell us that the way we need to be romanced is with candy and flowers. But is that what you think Valentine’s Day is about? I don't. I think that stuff is for newbies and amateurs.

It's not that I don't like all that stuff, but I don’t put all my expectations into one single day. This time last year, my sweetie and I were driving through a snowstorm to pick up his mother from a nursing home to take her back to her assisted living apartment. By the time we got home, we were physically and emotionally drained. We had a quick bite and watched a funny DVD, during which we both fell asleep. Happy Valentine’s Day…!

I think the truth is that what every woman really wants is the love that Valentine’s Day promises, as well as its implied intimacy. Merely buying a card, flowers, or lingerie can’t make that happen. It’s like foreplay…if your man doesn’t make enough time for it, the big event itself is falls flat…and nothing else really matters. Even diamonds can’t make up for the emptiness resulting from thoughtlessness or casual disregard.

I talk to a lot of women who agree. They’d rather get their “candy” in the form of a planned event – like a date night or a day trip just for the two of them…where he holds her hand and they laugh together. And they’d love “flowers” in the form of more shared responsibility for the house, shopping and kids.

Last week my guy filled the soap dispensers…just because they were empty, and without being asked. Yesterday he helped me get something ready for a training program I’m doing next week. I can count on him to show me that I’m important in his life, and that what’s important to him is important to me.

How about you? What non-store item says, “I love you” to you?